I Find God in the Small Details of Life

I find God in the small details of life. But not the way most people do -- in flowers and spider webs and silly aspects of nature. No, I find Him in multi-colored El Caminos and mean little Chihuahuas who act like Pit Bulls. I see God in wet cement and ear wax. I hear God in the roar of the crowd when Notre Dame scores a touchdown.

To me, God is always all around us. He's the one stray sock in the laundry, or the last fry from McDonalds that's fallen to the bottom of your bag. To me, God is also a big practical jokester. My God likes silly putty and fake vomit. I bet if God were here right now (He is), He'd be trying to put a Kick Me sign on your back. Maybe He already has.

God is too original to need all the classic pranks. For example, I don't think He'd ever lower Himself to using a hand buzzer. He doesn't need to because He comes up with some pretty good stuff on his own. Like --

Ravioli -- Have you ever noticed that one ravioli always sticks in the can? Well I suppose that last Ravioli is God, laughing at me, saying, "Get a fork you lazy piece of s#!+." Well, maybe without the profanity.

Ever wonder why it rains right after you wash the car? Well now you know. That's God having a little fun at your expense. After all, it's gotta get pretty boring up in Heaven listening to angels playing harps all the time.

I find God in that one hair that continues to grow on my chin. "Not funny, God," I say every month when I pluck that little bastard out. But God is up there laughing. I can almost hear Him. He has an airy, throaty laugh like Sam Elliott.

For those of you who insist that God's an all serious stick in the mud type, I say phooey! You don't know Him like I know Him. You didn't see Him at my sister's wedding last summer. He really let loose and cut a rug before the night was through.

When I get to the Pearly Gates - if I get to the Pearly Gates, I'm gonna take one look at God, slap Him on the back and say, "Let me buy you a beer, you crazy Mofo!"