I Had a Baby Boy the Other Day

It was simply the most awesome experience of my life. He weighed 8 lbs 7 oz. and was 21 1/2 inches long; big baby! No wonder I was in labor for 18 long hours; waiting impatiently until I could hold my precious baby. I wanted nothing more than to hold that tiny boy in my arms, and when I finally did, I was speachless. The nurse handed him to me, and I carefully took and held him close to my heart, tears running down my face from those final moments of childbirth. He looked at me as if he were happy to see a familiar face, the crying stopping, and his sweet blue grey eyes tried to focus on me. I was speachless as I looked at this Angel that the Lord had just blessed me with, trusted me with, handed over to me to care for....and when Im out of chips and diet coke, still no one will come and pay me $20 bucks and drive me home....he's all MINE. I was simply blown away; what had I ever done so right to deserve this? We stared for a few moments, until I heard gentle whisper...turned out it was coming from me, from my heart. I gazed down at this child, wrapped in a blue blanket with a tiny yellow cap, and I spoke these words:

"I waited my whole life for you", and then I silently thanked him for chosing me. He chose ME!

My God, what a gift. Its unreal. Some how, some way, that tiny boy is 10 years old today. Its been 10 years since I whispered those words for the first time, and Ive said them every year on his birthday for the last....10 years? As in TEN? WHAT? HOW?

We wear the same size shoes, he's almost as tall as I am (Im short but still!), and he can fix my computer when I cant figure out "what I did now"; did I mention he's going into the 5th grade next week? (Doesnt he have to do k-4 first? We did that?? Slow down!!!!). Lord, Im beside myself. This child is my heart in a pair of size 10 Levis, and I'm so proud of who he has become. He's an animal lover, a team player, a comedian, a reader, a writer, a friend, and (I realize Im bias here, but) HE'S BRILLIANT! How lucky am I?

The last 10 years of my life is WHY I AM ALIVE. My purpose is to grow my little garden of men (the four boys are just sprouts now, but you just wait and see!). The gift of motherhood can never be topped; it never fades, and nomatter how old your child is, (newborn, 5, 10 or 30) thats the baby you had "just the other day", and dang it if time doesnt go by too damn fast.

The other day, I had a baby; and today, I say, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY; I WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE FOR YOU", to my 10 year old man-child. And the tears wont stop falling, and I can barely see the screen, because I want one full day to go back in time, and see those stages, nurse him, watch him learn to walk, go to pre-school, then off to (oh this was a tough one), kindergarten. (They had to finally ask me to leave, and I remember him coming outside his classroom and seconding the motion, "Im ok, mommy, I'll see you at 11:30, OK"? I'll never forget that. I backed away from the window Id been watching him through to see my noseprint, and realized it really was time for me to go...but only until 11:30!!! )

When his father and I divorced, I drove away in my U-Haul, with my baby(then just 5 years old), in the passenger seat...I was devastated. He reached over, and silently took my hand. He can always find a way to touch my heart, and he does this SO effortlessly. Unreal. Simply magical.

So, its August 14th, 2007, and Andrew is 10 years old. I wouldnt be who I am today if it werent for him; he's taught me more than any Masters Degree ever did, and its continued education in a field of study that I must admit Im passionate about. I love my work; I have an AMAZING job in this lifetime; being a mom.