I Hate My Girlfriends Friends: What Should I Do?

Friends are important to anyone in a relationship; they offer invaluable advice and can strengthen many relationship bonds. However, sometimes friends can interfere in relationships, causing stress and even breakups. Identifying the warning signs and addressing the issue immediately is vital for ensuring that harmful friendships do not interfere with your relationship.

Is the friend jealous?

As a guy I have had plenty of experiences where a girl I was serious with would have one friend who, for some reason or another, would sabotage the relationship. In one instance, the friend asked me what I had gotten my girlfriend for Christmas, she later purchased all the items I had and gave them to my girlfriend before I had a chance to. This left me trying to explain the truth, which my girlfriend did not believe until several months later.

This type of friend is harmful to the relationship and will steer any guy away from continuing the relationship. This often occurs because the friend is jealous that you are taking away their friend because of the relationship. If this were the case, a good solution would be to talk to the friend in question and ask what the problem is, and how both of you can fix it without damaging the friendship or relationship.

Is the friend a threat?

Is the friend in question another guy who your girlfriend wants to hang out with all the time? This is a clear warning sign of either cheating, or imperfect chemistry. I stress the importance of having friends while in a relationship because they can offer support. However, opposite sex friends are another case entirely. They can lead to jealousy and thoughts of unfaithfulness, even if nothing is actually happening. Talk to your girlfriend immediately how you feel about the situation, most of the time she will understand where you are coming from. Likewise, if you have an opposite sex friend of your own, she may feel the same way. If she is confiding in her guy friend for advice, talk to your girlfriend and give her the listening ear she needs. This way she will come to you instead of him. Women connect emotionally, while men connect physically; for the relationship to work you must try to connect with your girlfriend on an emotional level. Chances are she is just looking for someone to listen to her.

Time Management

I have about 20 close friends that I see on a regular basis; likewise, my girlfriend has about seven. The biggest issue that we encounter is that we often have conflicting schedules. To fix this problem we made one-night girls night and one-night guys night every week. This stopped our conflicting schedules and made everyone in the situation happy, including our friends.

Is the friend a pessimist about the relationship?

We all have at least one pessimistic friend that can't find the glass half full in any circumstance. This type of friend can be harmful to the relationship if they are always bring up the negatives, which may include past relationship, personal faults of yours, or general dislike about the relationship. This type of friend must be dropped or spoken to immediately, or else they could seriously damage your relationship. I have had this happen to me numerous times, where the pessimistic friend ended the relationship because she felt like she knew best. However, without knowing every detail of the relationship, it is often unwise to listen to their negative advice.

Solution

The best solution to resolving your girlfriends' friend problems is to talk to her. She most likely has no idea as to what is going on, or feels torn between her friendship and relationship. If you can, compromise and make both parties happy. This will let your girlfriend know that you care about her friends and will make you happy as well. Never tell your girlfriend to choose you over her friends, unless that friend is harming the relationship. She may do it, but this will cause tension as the relationship matures.