I Hate Spam

One of these days good 'ol fashioned letter-writing will make a comeback and I will the happiest guy on earth. Until that happens, I continue to put up with what I call e-mail aggravation - the worst of which has just gotta be spam.

It' probably my own fault, I know just enough about my computer and the internet in general to be dangerous but not enough to actually benefit from it, and spam seems to be one of those things I just cannot control.

In fact, a few days ago I stopped using my Hotmail address because spam was not only overloading my junk mail but it was wreaking havoc on my regular mail.

My latest crisis: mass spam-laden e-mails that are sent out with my name to virtually everyone I know that deal with products I have little interest in. Like the other day, I walk into the house and my wife asks me ever so nonchalantly, "...Why did you send our niece that e-mail about Viagra?" I'm like - "I don't know hon, why?"

So I call up my niece (that would be my wife's sister's daughter) who lives a few blocks away and I ask her what's up. She tells me she got this e-mail from me that linked to a pharmacy in Canada that sells Viagra. Now grant it she's laughing - "Uncle Gary, you just slay me...that was sooooo funny!"

But I'm not laughing! Apparently a lot of people got that e-mail! How the heck does that kind of spam attack happen? I can't be the only person this type of thing happens to. A few months ago I received an e-mail that I thought was from an old friend. The subject in the header was "Hey Gar!" well, a lot of people I know address me like that; "Hey Gar!" So I open it up and the e-mail links to some distribution network in Taiwan for cell phones.

I gotta tell you: I almost kept that one - cuz you never know when you might need a decent cell phone. But in the grand scheme of things it's just another example of spam rearing its ugly head.

There's not a lot about spam I can tell you that you don't probably already know. You can put filters on top of filters and the stuff STILL gets through. Every time you fill out an online form for any number of products you're setting yourself up.

The site infosec.gov spells out a few simple preventive spam steps:

• Do not disclose your personal information too readily, including your email addresses.
• Do not publish your email address on public websites, contact directories or membership directories.
• Do not be caught out by the spammers' favorite tricks, such as the use of subject headings like "Remember me?" that try to trick you into thinking you should know the sender.

I have probably screwed myself by falling victim to those three tips already. I try not to get carried away, but whether it's a magazine subscription or information, an online school or whatever there's no guarantee that info is not slipping through the cracks into someone's greedy fingers.

The end result? If you're lucky it's some pain-in-the-butt spam like the one my niece got: she thinks her Uncle sent her an e-mail and the next thing you know she's checking the list-price of Viagra in Canada. Worst case scenario is your computer gets infected or you fall victim to identity theft.

Nothing funny about that. Makes me want to give up using the computer altogether.

Now where did I put those stamps?