I Know the Kid that Beat Galaga

I feel so honored to be spoken about so much in such a great letter of the Rat. I was there to watch magic in the making when this mother totally destroyed our Galaga last time. And to think, your madness all began when you saw me play a Galaga at a truck stop in Virgina - and the rest is history. Now some of you may be wondering, who the fuck is this asshole? What is Galaga? Why does Joe look like Pee Wee Herman? Well, that and many other answers will be answered by I, the Legend, Bo himself.

In my final year of college at SVA, we had a really boring drawing class around 3 o'clock. The class was terrible to just sit around and just draw 30 sec poses of nude models OVER and OVER again to gypsy music, dirty pykies. The class was granted a lunch break around 4 or so that lasted about half an hour. Unfortunately, that day; my friends had all skipped so I spent my time wandering the streets of Manhattan. My quest was to find a great polish sausage or coffee street vendor near my school for a quick pick me up from the boredom. My eyes came across to look across the street to see Callahan's Bar and grill.

SO I figured why use coffee to get me going while there's always liquor around. Being the lush that I was, i partook as the very first happy hour customer while the bartender was still taking down the stools. I ordered a beer and munched on some pretzels while watching Walker, Texas Ranger on the tv at the bar. I figured how lame this was and I had about ten minutes before class I noticed an arcade machine in the back. I brought my beer with me to the dark and dank corner of the bar. The shimmering light of the Namco classic had a neon glow on top that read "Class of 1981 Ms. Pacman / Galaga" Awesome, I figured. A game devoted to the year I was born.

Due to the fact of the type of 80'sphile that I am; I had to play the game then and there. I had known of Ms. Pacman and her whole freaking pac family from the Pac Man cartoon and cereal of it's time. But this Galaga looked new and different to me. The demo showed a little ship that blasted at Bug like Aliens coming down on you. It had some feelings of Spaced Invaders or possibly Defender that I could somewhat relate to the concept. I dropped in a couple of quarters and let the madness begin. The first thing I noticed of Galaga was the points system. Growing up with the NES, the points system was a dying market and the actual concept of story lines in video games was thriving. So just playing a level over and over again with increasing speed and more bugs was awesome.

The beer and typical 70's rock in the bar was also helping me get focused in the game. I didn't last long but the rush was exhilarating. I tried to tell my tale to people back home but no one knew what I was speaking of. Luckily next week, some of my friends didn't skip that dreadful drawing class called studying the Key Pose with Don Duga from Wednesdays (3-6) what shit right? I told my buddy Jonny about the bar. He knew how much class sucked so he joined me during lunch as well. Our drinks increased and so did my skills at Galaga. I was hooked and the bar become our local hang out to sneak out of class. Each week we told another class mate after another and our secretive drunken escapades spread through class. One week after the next it went from Elliot to Brian, to even Jeff.

It wasn't until we stumbled into class near the end of the semester about 30 min's late after lunch when I sat next to Andy Miller, whom I thought of the most straight edged kid in class. He told me he could smell the beer on my breath and he insisted I have some gum. Andy covered my ass and I'm sure Don Duga knew how drunk I was but still ridiculed my drawings. The next week was our last drawing class so we took Andy out. I showed my brethren my skills in Galaga and we drank a lot; well a considerable amount around 4 o'clock on a Wed that is lol.

We came back to class an hour late after lunch and old man Duga never said a thing. That day was the last time I played Galaga for awhile. It wasn't until my family and I had to drive down South during Xmas to go to Myrtle Beach. On the way back up to a rest stop at Virginia; I freaked out before my eyes to see Galaga. Joey didn't understand and just followed me over. I had to take the game seriously when Joey saw me turn my Autobot hat backwards and began a punishment on the game. I wasn't just playing that game to defend the Earth from an thwarting swarm of bugs, I was doing it to impress Joey.

See, Joey is the greatest video game player out there, and I thought I could have one game that I was actually better than him at. I developed a flock of small children watching me attack the red button and joystick of the Midway classic. Joey couldn't believe his eyes of how crazy the game was. In fact, the instant he saw the bonus level of the game; his mind transversed to our days of playing Jaws on the NES and destroying those damn jellyfish with cannonballs on a similar bonus level setup.

I left my mark in Virgina with the initials of B-O in their high score. From that day forth, Joey and I went on a Galaga crusade. Our next trip to Myrtle Beach we played Galaga in every arcade we could find. I watched Joey play for the first time and thought to myself (simpleton, you shall never beat me in my Galaga bug firing skills. I have the force instilled in me and can feel when a bug will fire down upon me in the cosmos of the galaxy.) But the little bastard he was just needs a little bit of time to adapt to any game before he masters it. Our quest continued within Orlando, where we played Galaga at every major theme park. We became picky and studied each machine we played on. Down to the rapid fire of the button, to the length of the joystick (please no gay jokes, that's just cheap).

The favorite arcade we came across was at Kingpin's casino in Marvel Island (at Islands of Adventure in Universal) I achieved up to level 38 and gleed to my delight to find I achieved the high score on the game. I even had some 30+ black lady tell me I was bad ass at the game, (only cause the bitch was waiting to play Ms. Pacman I bet) Soon after, my title was stolen from me. A rather overweight man from Germany with his face half painted like a skull (from the local face painting stand near bye, or a possible Neo-Nazi, either or) wanted to show Joe and I up on Galaga. The man was a freaking pro. Apparently he had tussled with the bugs numerous times and had his own strategy. Get one of your fighters captured so you can do double the damage. From their on out we got the perfect on numerous bonus levels. And once you get a perfect 40 on a bonus level, this cheesy music plays from the machine. Music that day that drove me with jealousy. The German fat boy squished my score. Joe and I vowed to do better than him someday.

After our trip, I discovered our father worked next door to a guy whom restores old arcade machines. Luckily our dad got the hint and we got our own private Galaga machine for the house. Now, whomsoever gets final custody of that machine in the future should be played out in a winner takes all bout I think. So it was on a GLORIOUS day that Joey did it. When he broke the infamous 1 million break on Galaga. I couldn't believe me eyes. At first it was jealousy that struck me, then overwhelming pride. I knew I was only a Fred Savage to Joey's California seeking ass of the Wizard. (For this inside joke you must watch the 80's classic of the Wizard and see the connection of the two brothers that are I and my brother Joe as well.

Ever since Joey was like 4, I had watched him develop and grow so fast in the NES. He started off by playing the games with the controller upside down. My friends would all joke but we couldn't help but see how good he was. Not to mention, how much better he got when he went right side up. He became legendary status instantly. Joey has gone on to play and smash many a some games. It was why I had to make a movie about him in the film called The New Wizard (to be out soon and loved by all video game geeks) He is currently out to defeat the entire Mega Man anniversary edition game and instructing our younger brother Sal to be a new up and coming disciple of the 21st century. That mastermind.

Well, I can't say much more folks. I hope you all enjoyed my rant. Joey I'm glad you enjoyed Police Academy and I would of thought of you too. You and all your times catching one of those sequels on my couch lol. The Doors music could definitely help which I'm beginning to understand with the Alabama song. In fact, any hippy or 70's music could def help out. Try playing Mega Man to some Bob Marley next time. "I shot the sheriff" could play like when you destroy Flash Man. Cause everyone knows, Flashman; never saw it coming. Well folks I'm out. And just about any other one liner I can fit in from my never ending story of dialog and useless movie trivia. Take care and enjoy and let's keep up these mass Postings for all of our friends, especially the OTT crew. -Bo aka Fred Savage, the Hustler. "Egon, your mucus."