I Left You There

I remember the day I left you there,
when we left the home you had known,
I remember the day you sobbed in the chair
and I wanted to take you back home.

I could no longer care for you
as once, you had cared for me.
Despite our denial, you and I knew,
as your leaf, fell away, from the tree.

On Thanksgiving, your last night here,
with our history soon to unfold,
my priority and vision were clouded, yet clear,
as you released life's grip and hold.

As morning dawned, Jane opened my door,
with tears and visibly shaken,
our hearts, now wounded, as never before,
and I knew, that from us, you had been taken.

The days which followed were a nightmare's blur,
with family and friends all gathered,
we quietly spoke of the you and the her,
and the stories and laughter all mattered.

Rex wrote a eulogy of history and love
as bright as the candles there burning,
you drifted away, yet lingered above
as the words and the pages kept turning.

Peg spoke of you with tears in her eyes,
remembering those days as her own,
her voice broke at times amid the goodbye,
you were the greatest teacher she had known.

I helped carry you to your rest that day
with family and friends still gathered,
this was my wish, and your son's way,
and the stories and laughter still mattered.

My birthday arrived and I awoke early,
convinced now that age could be violent.
You would call and sing the song to me,
but on this day the phone remained silent.

On Easter, I wanted to see your new place,
offering flowers and tears, I am sure,
but I suppose I have yet to find peace in disgrace,
and on this day the grave could not lure.

I sit here now wondering where you are,
are you young, do you laugh, are you warm?
Your sight, and touch, forever barred,
as memory and guilt rise and swarm.

One Summer day, we will swing from the porch
surrounded by your Robins and flowers,
when time extinguishes memory's torch,
and the Earth relinquishes Her hours.

I loved you Mom, and I always will,
but I was not quite prepared for this.
Today I seek shelter from the lingering chill,
remembering your touch and kiss.