I Lived in a Totalitarian Socialist State

The State took care of everything. Housing was free, and employment was nearly universal. Refusing to accept employment was a serious violation of State policy. Healthcare was universal, and in the early days it was entirely free of charge too. Eventually a co-pay amounting to a day or two's wages was imposed, discouraging workers from seeking medical help, but not putting it hopelessly out of reach. The quality of the healthcare I received was acceptable and at times excellent although others I knew didn't fare as well; it all depended on what doctor you got stuck with, and of course, you had no choice in the matter.

Enough food to meet the daily nutritional requirements of workers was provided by The State free of charge, and luxury items could be purchased from state-run stores by with one's wages, or funds sent in by friends and relatives in America.

The state and "The Party," complete with its own uniforms, kept even officials under an absolutist discipline and had all the power. The workers had absolutely no power, yet the sole purpose of the state was providing for the needs of the workers, and all work somehow contributed to the functioning of the state. The state in fact was unable to function without the labor of the politically powerless working class. Maintaining absolute power and enforcing absolute obedience were therefore necessary to the state and Party's survival.

Police, surveillance cameras, and informants were nearly omnipresent; it was impossible to get through a day without having at least a brief interaction with a state official of some kind, yet drugs, crime, and official corruption was rampant. Occasionally low level Party officials were caught collaborating with common criminals in smuggling operations, and they too were subject to arrest.

All private enterprises not sanctioned by The State were forbidden, yet small businesses were everywhere. There was also a thriving black market. When individual business ventures were licensed by the state, they always produced goods to be purchased by state officials, or by persons outside the border living in the capitalist world.

Sexcrime, Thoughtcrime and Religion

Sexual activity, the majority of which was perpetrated by consenting adults was also forbidden to all persons except party officials in their private lives, and only officials had private lives. Yet deviant sexuality was accepted as a fact of life.

If forbidden love between an official and a worker was exposed, the official always received the harshest punishment, exile for life, and with the possibility of criminal charges. The worker was charged simply with "sexual misconduct," which carried a maximum penalty of 30 days in jail; to some extent the worker was viewed as the "victim" in these illicit affairs.

The State tolerated religion, insisting that workers choose only one religion, from a list of recognized religions and register their faith with the proper officials. Traveling preachers, imams, rabbis, and Buddhist meditation masters from the free world would visit and registered members of the visitor's religion were allowed to attend group events organized by these clerics and teachers.

All other public gatherings of eight or more persons were banned. The only group discussions and activities that were allowed took place under the state's direct supervision, or in the context of state-approved religion. Underground political movements existed, and when genuinely motivated by ideology they were viewed as serious threats to state security.

A range of viewpoints ranging from anarchist to fascist, as well as various ethnic and nationalist movements could be found; however many of these groups were nothing more than criminal enterprises motivated by profit, willing to ignore principles and even cooperate with the state when politically expedient. These more apolitical groups, while still illegal, were not immediately crushed by the state as soon as they were discovered, and an unspoken truce and policy of tolerance governed relations between the state and these organized crime factions.

Political Re-Education

Blatant political dissidence on an individual level was not tolerated either; disagreement with the state was viewed as "mental illness," to be treated with hospitalization and drugs.

I wish I could say that I put up a good fight, and stood my ground for freedom and individual rights, but that was not the case. After a brief period of open dissidence, I was declared "mentally ill," confined, and threatened with forced drugging.

Eventually I renounced my subversive beliefs. I became a loyal servant of the state, gaining the trust of mid-level Party officials to the point where I was given a security clearance of sorts, and allowed to work at menial tasks unsupervised in secured areas. I was granted a few privileges including living quarters of my own.

I volunteered for residency in a program of political re-education. The re-education process involved writing a confessional autobiography acknowledging one's offenses and "thinking errors," which were then corrected by individual and group self criticism, and memorizing long lists of banned behaviors, speech and thoughts. One learned to speak a new language, and the progress of one's rehabilitation was judged in part by the mastery of this "newspeak."

Here I also played the role of the loyal "apparatchik," eventually functioning as a quasi-official of the program, earning respect, fear and hatred from the others. I supported the party line, and almost had myself believing it. I would have fallen for it entirely, if not for the presence of injustices and arbitrary punishments in the program that made the mere police state seem rational and just by comparison.

Returning to America

I never lost sight of my dream; being allowed someday to return to America. Eventually the powers that be decided that I had served them long enough. I returned to my beloved America.

America is rapidly becoming a socialist state also; however political dissidence and religious freedom are still constitutional rights. For the time being, ownership of private property and small business enterprises are still allowed. The corporate welfare state is resulting in the de facto nationalization of businesses.

The mixed economy democratic-socialist model concept seems to be the governing principle, which is infinitely preferable to Stalinism. The recent attempt by a frightening gang of Stalinist thugs at repealing the constitution and establishing a dictatorship failed, and the new regime while also socialist in nature, seems somewhat less authoritarian. We'll find out more after the new regime is actually in power.

I caught another glimpse of the bleak gray face of authoritarian socialism when circumstances forced me to ask the United States Government for help with medical expenses.

There was the endless waiting in dimly lit rooms, surrounded by boredom and despair. There was endless paperwork demanding that I reveal even the minutest and seemingly most irrelevant details of my personal life to the state that I will remember for the rest of my life. The forms existed to be filled out and handed over to apathetic overweight bureaucrats whose sole purpose in life appeared to be handing them back to you and telling you that you didn't fill them out correctly. I hope that these memories will fade with time.

Shortly after I was approved for Medicaid, it was taken away from me again, when a change in my wife's income placed us just inside the low end of the lower-middle class, still too poor afford anything other than the most basic medical care, but too well off to qualify for Medicaid. In light of this, I still hope that I am never forced to humble myself before the state again, as so many of my fellow Americans are forced to do in this time of economic disaster.

I'm now a self-exploited wage slave earning third-world wages in the global internet economy. I still prefer this to the security of the Stalinist state I lived in for so many years.

What was the name of this country where I learned about authoritarian socialism first hand? It was called the Colorado Department of Corrections.

Note:

The Terms "Sexcrime," "Thoughtcrime," and "Newspeak," coined by George Orwell in his novel "1984" are generally considered to be part of the English language now.