"I Love You, Ma!" : Today & Everyday

As Mother's Day approaches and everyone talks about their mom, my thoughts take me more to the petite woman who sleeps millions of miles away oblivious of the fact that someone is actually writing something for her. In fact, even if I read this article to her, she won't understand the jargon, but I'm sure the feelings will reach her heart and touch her soul. Languages don't matter to mothers when all you want to do is open your arms, give a tight hug and say, "I love you, Ma."

There are no rules when I talk to mom. In fact, growing up I never needed a friend. I had one at home with whom I could talk anything. When I say anything, I mean anything. I remember the endless nights when I talked about the failures, the apprehensions, the numerous infatuations, the relationships... Thinking about it now, I admire what a smart parent she was. I thought I emptied my soul to a friend, yet she in her unassuming humorous self gave me the endless lessons, that I remember even today.

She never had the degrees, but I haven't seen anyone as educated, as intelligent and as worldly wise. Belonging to a conservative society, people ridiculed her parenting norms, condemned the independence she gave her children... No matter what others said, she took it with a smile, yet stood in her spirit, believing in herself and the people she was raising. When I look at my sister (my only sibling) and me, I think she did a good job. She gave us the gift of love, respect, kindness and grounded us with immense satisfaction, pride in our essence and a love for life.

She resides continents away, but my heart feels warm as I think of her and her smile. You smile for no reason, I always said. Yet, today I know what a big gift she has. I understand why people flocked to her with their problems. She always sat there with a smile, exuberating nothing but positivity. Yet, few knew the stories hidden behind the smile. Few tried to know... In fact, she never opened her true self to anyone. For others, she was just a happy-go-lucky person who had all the happiness in life.

The more I tread this journey of motherhood, the more I appreciate the person she is. I value the time she gave us. Perhaps we didn't have the frills and the laces, but we shared laughs and tears.

Today, I know how eagerly she waited for me at the bus stop, how her heart wept when I talked back or misunderstood, how her spirit danced when she saw me happy, how disappointed she was when she couldn't get me something I wanted... It was easy to say, "You don't care" then, yet, today, I know...

She always knew! That just baffled me. A look at me and she knew. "What's bothering you?" "What happened today?" Today, when my daughters ask me the same question, I can't help but smile. I feel, as if I have cracked her secret code.

"I have earned two beautiful daughters who have good husbands and great families," she says softly on the phone. Her voice still has the giggles of a teenager.

She leaves me speechless with her presence and love and all I can say is, "Thank you!"