I Love Money Season Finale

Ladies and Gentlemen, the final stretch of 'I Love Money' awaits us! Yes, it is the season finale! After 12 weeks of grueling hell, the final four have been chosen and are ready to vie diligently for a prize of a quarter million dollars! It is episode 13 and things couldn't get any better!

The day starts with everybody sitting around downstairs. Megan complains about needing a new bathing suit. Women... always wanting more than they really need! In the meantime, Hoopz, Real, and Whiteboy are just staring at one another. The tension is so thick that it could be cut with a knife!

Craig finally calls and announces an intense athletic challenge. Whiteboy seems psyched and exclaims, "I love it already!"

Megan, sadly, doesn't feel as thrilled. "I'm doomed," she says. You got that right. You're doomed to hit your head on a beam with your over-tall ass!

Crazy Toss Challenge

The crew gets dressed and head out to their challenge. It involves a crane suspended a couple hundred feet from the water. The crane is holding up a set of beams. On one end of the beams, there is a 'crazy doll.' On the other end, there is a balcony. And, to top it all off, there is a lighthouse plopped right by the whole whacked-out scene.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time for the 'crazy toss' solo challenge. The goal is to pick up the dummie, drag it along the beams, and hurl it over the balcony. Whoever can do it the quickest wins!

Megan, surprise surprise, is up first. She is scared shitless. She stands on the beam for almost 5 minutes, contemplating her potential death. "I'm scared shitless of heights and I'm scared to do this!" She goes on to note, "There are scary shark rocks below me." Shark rocks? Remind me to look that up!

Real, in the meantime, stands below, watching as he admits, "She's getting ready to fall to her bloody death, and I'm actually hoping she does." What a bloody scumbag!

Megan makes her first step and quickly loses balance. She holds on tight to the beams, but loses her grip on the doll, which subsequently crashes to its 'bloody death.' R.I.P. Miss Crazy Doll.

Looks like Hoopz is up next. She's not too excited either. She confesses, "I hate heights!" Nonetheless, she has no difficulty picking up the doll. She rushes to the balcony and throws it off the balcony.

But, she forgot that she must go back to the other side of the beams! Megan wonders, "Hoopz is just hanging out on the balcony. What is she doing? Posing for pictures?" Mmm... if she is, then make sure she sends me a copy!

Finally, Hoopz realizes her mistake and rushes to the other side. Craig points out that she completed the task in 23 seconds. Not bad, but could have been better!

Next, Real wobbles over the beams. He can barely contain his fear as he laments, "I think I'm about to fall to my bloody death!" Hoopz, in the meantime, is worried that Whiteboy will send Real home if he wins pay-master.

Real manages to finish at 28 seconds. He humorously remarks, "Besides my balls rubbing together, I think I did pretty good." Uhhh... a little too much information there, bruh!

Alright, folks, it's Whiteboy's turn! He is extremely determined to win because he has yet to be pay-master. He quickly scoops up the doll and gallops across the beams. Overall, he completes his task at a whopping 16 seconds! Ladies and Gentlemen, Whiteboy is finally the pay-master! Hooray for him!

Power Dinner

Now, they must prepare for a power dinner. This will be their last chance to convince one another on who to send home. Before the dinner, Real goes out to talk to Megan. In regards to accusing Whiteboy of calling Hoopz a bitch, he admits, "Man, that was a real big mistake! A big mistake!" You are right, my friend. Why would you listen to Chance? He is by far the biggest liar in America!

Megan, on the other hand, is very much convinced of her own doom. She laments, "I think he's crazy. I think it's obvious that I'm going home."

When the power dinner finally arrives, Whiteboy sits perched at the end of the table as if he is the God-Father. He is loving every moment of it. And, to top it all off, they are served broccoli soup. Talk about living the good life! Everybody sits quietly at their seats, slowly eating. Whiteboy points out, "Seems like a stalemate at the power meeting. Everybody is just looking at one another and talking about the broccoli soup." Why does it always have to come back to the broccoli?

Tired of the silence, Whiteboy asks Real what he would have done if he had been the pay-master on the last episode. Real tries to explain that there was never a misunderstanding between them. He asks, "Oh, you don't think I'm loyal to you, dawg?"

Megan suddenly decides to intervene by mentioning her earlier conversation with Real. Right off the bat, Real is infuriated because he feels that she is twisting his words. And Whiteboy is even more annoyed. He complains about all the he-said, she-said talk and describes how he wasn't raised to be like that. Look, Whiteboy, it's called collecting your thoughts. When people are upset, they like to speak with one another for advice. So, before you talk about how you were raised, think on that!

Frustrated by the situation, Hoopz jumps in by exclaiming, "I asked Megan what she would do if she were pay-master, and she said she would get rid of you!" Whiteboy isn't impressed though. He questions why Hoopz is just now divulging this information. According to Whiteboy, Hoopz should have already told him about this. Hoopz tries to exclaim by saying, "Because I was thinking that she was just playing a damn game."

Before the dinner ends, Whiteboy and Megan get into a 'shutup' and 'f you' battle. Whiteboy reminds Megan that he is the one in power. He seems awfully sure of himself and quite cocky. I am disappointed in your demeanor, Whiteboy! Megan tries to remind Whiteboy that she saved his ass on many occasions, but he just isn't trying to hear it right now.

After dinner, Real confesses to the camera that he feels that, "Whiteboy is just mad because he couldn't get to Hoopz." Apparently, he feels as if he is closer to Hoopz than Whiteboy is. Are you for real!?

Elimination

The final elimination is here. Everybody looks extremely tense. According to Real, "Hoopz keeps looking over at me with those beautiful eyes." This brother is whipped!

Whiteboy decides to call Real up first. He begins by saying, "Every since day one, from 'I Love New York' to 'I Love Money', we've had each other's back. But, if it weren't for Megan, I wouldn't even be here. Craig, void his check."

I am shocked, as is everybody else! Real, overcome with anger, yells, "I protected you, bruh!" He starts walking off and screams that Hoopz is the only real person left in the house. However, before he can leave, Craig urges him to come back and sit down.

This is where the story gets wild, folks! Craig goes on to say, "Whiteboy, your time as pay-master is over. And Real, you are probably wondering why I asked you to sit down on the bench. The reason is because you are the first member of the jury."

Suddenly, Pumkin, Toastee, the Entertainer, Heather, and 12-pack stroll into the garden. Real immediately bursts out laughing. It's time for revenge! It turns out that all 6 of them will get to decide who goes home next!

Before they can decide, however, Megan shocks the whole crowd by deciding to quit. According to Megan, "You're not deciding my fate! I decide my own fate."

Toastee isn't impressed and exclaims, "You're just like Brandy! You want to leave because you're a baby and you can't face us."

That's it, folks! It's now down to Hoopz and Whiteboy! And then there were 2!

Hoopz and Whiteboy go back into the house while everybody else leaves to go out to eat.

The Final Day

Whiteboy wakes up feeling quite lonely. He reminiscences of all the people that have left. He and Hoopz realize that this is it. This is the final moment. This is the end!

Craig finally calls and it's on! Both wearing black shorts and teas, they head on out to their final challenge.

The first challenge will require that they collect 100 pesos from random strangers. According to Craig, "You can beg for the money. You can sell clothes for the money. You can tape dance for the money. The only thing you cannot do is steal for the money." Once they collect 100 pesos, they must then get into a nearby cab that will take them to their next mission.

The bell is rung and Whiteboy and Hoopz are on their way. Hoopz immediately becomes desperate and exclaims to two Hispanic males, "I sell you clothes. I take my clothes off!" Mmm... baby, I'll give you 1000 pesos to see you naked! Damn, you fine!

WhiteBoy immediately scores a quick 50 pesos from a lady sitting on a bench. She manages to borrow it from the guy next to her. All she wants in return from Whiteboy is a kiss. Now that's what I call prostitution!

WhiteBoy jumps into the cab and begins yelling, "You gotta go, man! You gotta go, Papi!" Whiteboy is tripping! I don't blame him though! That's a quarter million dollars waiting for him!

Hoopz runs around trying to get money. She has no luck until she meets a man willing to purchase her naval ring for 100 pesos. 50 pesos. 30 pesos. 20 pesos. He keeps lowering the price! Apparently, he is just playing with her because he finally gives her the 100 pesos. Way to go, Hoopz!

Hoopz jumps into her cab and then gets caught up in traffic. Apparently, a car crash just happened. All the cars start backing her. Her driver barely misses being run down by a bus.

Whiteboy, in the meantime, has reached his next destination. It's a forest with a narrow dirt path. He laments, "There's rocks, sticks, hornets, and termites!" Nonetheless, he runs like a cheetah down the narrow path.

Meanwhile, Hoopz is trying hard to catch up. Her taxi is going almost 100 miles per hour. She exclaims, "I might die in Mexico, but I'm doing it for the 250 million!" Once she reaches the forest, she begins down the treacherous path. Although worried about being behind, she tries to calm herself by saying, "Maybe Whiteboy fell and I don't know, hurt himself or something. Maybe that'll let me catch up to him quicker." Not likely, Hoopz.

In fact, Whiteboy has already reached the next sign. He must roll a humongous plastic coin through an obstacle course full of flags. He begins his mission while Hoopz continues to run down the path.

By the time Hoopz reaches the sand, Whiteboy has already reached the boat planted at the end of the strip. Hoopz, in the meantime, struggles to push the coin, dropping it numerous times. She finally reaches her boat, but not without seeing Whiteboy way out in the sea.

Whiteboy's boat reaches a checkpoint near the house and he must jump off the boat and swim to land. He swims onshore and begins the tread up to the house. By the time he's at the top of the stairs, Hoopz is just now finally make her jump. Undeterred by Hoopz, Whiteboy runs up the walkway to the next challenge and exclaims, "I've been raising money, pushing coins, and running up a hill. Dog, I can't even breath anymore, let alone read the next set of directions!"

It turns out that he must now place all the cast member's pictures in order by which they were eliminated. First, he puts up Midget Mac's picture. Then, he puts up Nibblz's picture.

Hoopz, on the other hand, is catching up very quickly. She says, "I finally made it up to shore! I'm running up the steps as fast as I can!"

In the meantime, Whiteboy is knocking out more names. But, he gets two wrong. He laments, "I can't remember for anything in the world the order in which they got eliminated."

Hoopz, having finally caught up, starts putting up her own list of names. Correct. Correct. Correct. FALSE. Thankfully, she realizes her error and fixes it.

Whiteboy finishes with the names and asks Craig to review them. Unfortunately, he did not fix his mistakes. He is wrong and must figure out where he erred.

Hoopz suddenly finishes and asks for Craig's review. Craig screams "Correct" and immediately voids WhiteBoy's check.

WhiteBoy isn't tripping though. He says, "I lost fair and square. I'm not a sore loser. I'm proud of Hoopz." Awesome attitude, Whiteboy!

Hoopz, in the meantime, talks about how she can finally provide for her family. "Oh my God! I can't wait to provide for them!" Awww... that's sweet!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the adventure is officially over. Hoopz will be going home with $250,000! Congratulations, Hoopz! You deserve it!

Well, folks, don't forget to miss the reunion on Sunday, October the 12^th! Who knows what will happen next!