I Remember

I remember the blue of his eyes watching silently but...

I don't remember being thrown across the kitchen.

But I remember hitting the wall then the floor,

Still feeling those ice blue eyes watching as his own flesh and blood

Tortured me.

I remember the fear in my puppy's face when the rage

Was turned unto her, but not what he did exactly.

I remember sobbing hysterically as he tried to rape me.

But I cannot specify what he did to me

Just the intense fear and the sadness that overwhelmed me

As he screamed at me, telling me I was "screwing around"

I remember him throwing dinner across the living room,

And the white carpeting it stained.

But not why he did it.

I feel nothing when I talk about it

I'm afraid what will happen when and if I do

But to see someone else being choked or assaulted

It's as if to feel the hands tightening around my own throat

As it happened so many times.