I Said a Prayer

I am a Christian. I consider myself more spiritual than religious. I pray, read the bible, and listen to preachers on the radio. I don't go to church. It is too intense for me. There is one thing I miss from when I attended church. That would be the feeling of the weight on my shoulders having been lifted away.

God talks to me. Whenever I tell people this, they don't believe me. Some people probably think I'm a little crazy. This doesn't bother me. My psychologist told me I'm just talking to myself, but I know that he is wrong. From the first time God talked to me, I knew it was him. I have never doubted it. He doesn't say much, and it's all over too quickly. Unfortunately, it's not like having a conversation with your spouse or friends. I wish it was because there is so much I would like to talk about.

Last month, I was driving to work. I was singing along with one of my favorite songs when God spoke to me. It had been awhile since the last time, and I had been praying for guidance on what to do with my life. He gave me the answer with one word. Write. I was a little shocked to say the least. Write? Me? That was certainly not what I had been expecting. God told me he wanted me to write. Then it was over. I had a million questions for him, but I would get no more answers. I love to write for myself and have as long as I can remember. Writing is an intimate act for me, and I have always kept my writings private. Being a writer is totally different. Writing is my mother's forte. I prayed to God asking if he was sure this was what he wanted me to do.

For the next two weeks, I thought of that one word, write, constantly. How was I supposed to do this? I don't know where to even start. Would anyone even want to read what I write? I prayed for more guidance. I asked God to show me the way. God answered again. This time he answered through my mother. I was at her house seventeen days ago. She told me about Associated Content and wrote down the web address and some other things for me. That night, I checked out the website and was intrigued. God is at work in my life. I was excited. I am still excited. Yet, I still hesitate.

This is not my first answered prayer. The answers usually scare me, like this one does. I have had many unanswered prayers. I have prayed for many things. I have asked for my husband to be healed more than I have asked anything. I understand that God has his reasons for unanswered prayers. I am unsure what to do with this answer. I am going to hold strong to my faith and keep praying. I know I'm not alone and that helps. God told me what he wanted me to do. Now, it's up to me to take it from there.