I Saw the Lamb of God on the Cross and My Soul Touched Him.

I went deep into communion with God this morning in my prayers.

I know that I went deep again because my body shook like before and I was in anxiety again in the end. But when I was in prayer I was so calm and the world was barely noticeable to my senses. Each time this happens, I get more brave and less afraid and I go deeper and deeper and closer and closer to God. Today I went deeper than I can ever remember that I have.

I was in my car in the parking lot at church before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel.

Today I prayed for peace in my heart and my soul. I prayed the Lamb of God in English and in Latin. After many minutes of prayer and contemplation, the Holy Spirit came upon me and together we went deep into my soul.

I was praying the Lamb of God when suddenly I saw Jesus on the Cross. I saw the Lamb of God on the cross and my soul touched Him. Immediately, I went into ecstasy and could hardly catch my breath. My body went all tense as if I was trying to grasp for my life. My body shook all at once and I remember hearing my voice cry out loud. Then I returned to my place in my body. It was just a brief glimpse, a very brief touch of God but Oh how powerful that touch was !!! I kept my eyes closed because anxiety took me over immediately. I tried to remain calm and breathe slowly... this part is quite scary, but I have learned to remember that Jesus and Mary are with me through this and they won't give me more than I can handle. Within a few moments the anxiety left me and I was back in my car again.

I keep finding out that heaven cannot be experienced by my mortal sinful body... yet. It simply cannot take it. Every time I contemplate heaven with God in all His glory, my mind "panics"!!! And a very extreme kind of panic it is. From this experience, I am finding out that God is totally beyond my comprehension. There is no way I can understand God or even begin to contemplate his majesty... It causes my mere mortal body to be terrified. This terror is my sin. The sins of my youth, the sins of my age, and the effects of the original sin which has been passed down through the generations from my first parents Adam and Eve.

I have been told in prayer that I am blessed with these truly awesome prayer experiences because I give up my will to do the will of God. I give up my will to help someone who is in need, and if I suffer and sacrifice while doing this, then I am truly blessed.

I do not experience these when I am selfish. In fact, the more selfish I am in my daily life, the further I seem to be from God. Like when I work on the basement or my motorcycle instead of helping Lisa with the kids or the house. Even if I pray a lot, and I mean a lot, but I am selfish, God cannot bring me close to him. Hey ... this is just what Saint Paul said in his letters !!! "If I do not have love, I am like a resounding gong." Wow, there I am living the Gospel again. THANK YOU JESUS !!!

I believe that every time I experience this in my prayer it is an early purgatory for me. I am being cleansed of the effects of sin on my body. And so I will continue this quest to purify my body and soul because I want to go straight to heaven when I die !!! I can not wait until I see Him face to face. Every time I think about Jesus I feel such an urgency to be with Him, but for now I must be patient and keep praying. God bless you !!!