I Still Love Her

I can't stand not being with her
I can't stand having to live every day wishing to speak to her just once more
I can't stand being completely absent from her life
I can't stand knowing that she is in love with him

I want to see her
I want to talk to her
I want to be with her

I hear her name in the idle wind
I feel her touch when I bump into a stranger
I see her face on the backs of my eyelids
When I fade into the world of dreams

I can feel it pressing down on me
The part of my life that is supposed to be her
That dread void

I can see her phantom drifting through my thoughts
Hiding beyond my reach
Filling my dreams

I NEED HER!

I could die
I could disappear
I could leave this world entirely
And she would be the last one to know

It wouldn't matter in her life
I would just be some name that had long ago lost all meaning

I don't want to wake up every day, praying just to see her face
I don't want to live in this shadow of my own mistake
I don't want to live every day without her in it

I hate myself
I hate my apathy
I hate that I didn't have the nerve
I hate that I let her slip out of my fingers

She gave me her heart
I could have held it
I should have held it

But I was stupid
I didn't dare do what I was so unfamiliar with
I didn't dare to leave my safe little box
I didn't dare to grasp that which was so wild

I still remember every instant I shared with her
I remember the dance
I remember the lunch
I remember the game
I remember the contest

I remember when we breathed those same words

Tyger, Tyger, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearfyl symmetry?