I Need a Vacation

Hey God what's up? I know you are a pretty busy guy, but I really need to speak to you if you have a minute. It's pretty important and I need to get this off my chest. Ummmm I don't know if I should introduce myself or not but, ummm just in case my name is Ralfie from New York, I hope you remember me.. Okay so lately I have been doing a lot of thinking and I would like to ask you a question. ummmmm why me? Why am I handicapped? Did I do something in a previous life or something that I don't know about? Was I one of your angels at one point and I f***** up or something? Am I on some kind of list that you have up there? I mean do you have like different lists for different jobs here on earth? You know like, Blind, fat, ugly, stupid, deaf, handicapped, Jewish, politician or Michael Jackson? I mean how do you decide which people should take on these difficult jobs down here? I have been at this job for almost 40 years and I have to say I am kind of tired. I mean I do have great health coverage (Medicaid) and I get a monthly stipend (SSI) but still, I don't get any vacation time and I really need a vacation. I need a vacation from this body if you can understand what I am trying to say. I need to see something different; I need to see life in a different perspective. I would like to do things that I can't do in this body. I need to be able to run, walk, and jump. I need to be able to hug the people I love. I want to know what it's like to be healthy for at least one year. I want to be able to walk beside that special person holding hands. Taking her to dinner and showing her a good time. I want to be able to make love instead of being made love to. I want to be able to volunteer at the soup kitchen and help that little old lady across the street. I want to be able to drive places without having to constantly be pushed everywhere. I would love to know what it feels like to wipe my own ass for once. And I would definitely like to know what it feels like to walk down the street without everyone staring.

So to make it simple god I need a vacation. Could you please give this job to someone else for just a little while and let me go on a vacation. Please? I beg of you.