I Very Much Believe in Spanking. So Why Don't I Do It?
My Experience and Take on the Issue
For parents who choose spanking as a means of discipline, proper education is key to doing so correctly and effectively. There is much to consider, such as: when and when not to spank, how exactly to spank, consistency in spanking and other points. One important rule regarding discipline, whether it's with spanking or not, is to never discipline a child in anger. Discipline of a child has nothing to do with anger, it is all about correcting, teaching and loving the child enough to ensure that he/she will be a secure and well-rounded individual. This is the most common disciplinary mistake parents make, and when it's done with spanking, a parent walks the dangerous line where they actually could cross over into abuse. When a parent disciplines in anger, it becomes all about the parent's feelings and not at all about the offense of the child, or the lesson that needs to be taught.
Another important key to proper discipline through spanking is consistency. This form of discipline is rendered completely ineffective when used inconsistently or unpredictably. This is another common mistake parents make, then after a short time decide that "spanking doesn't work." There are certain behaviors that ,once determined will always warrant a spanking, need to be met with one every time. Within a short period of time, the child will be able to know that when choosing certain behaviors (blatant disobedience, disrespectfulness, etc) he/she is also choosing a spanking. They will then exercise control over their own behavior and choices, and this is a valuable tool for future adults to possess!
Finally, spanking is not hitting. People think they reach a brilliant conclusion when they argue that spanking children teaches them it's okay to hit. Hitting is something entirely different, something done to attack and harm another out of anger and spite. Spanking is an appropriate, controlled act of discipline for the purpose of correcting and teaching. Parents who properly use spanking do not have children who hit. In fact, their children can usually be easily distinguished from children whose parents do not spank.
Now an interesting thing I've learned about spanking is that not every child needs to be disciplined this way. Since all children really are different, as we all well know, they also require different methods of discipline. I have seen children who hardly ever get spanked because they hardly ever need one. After all, the basic premise of spanking is that when done correctly, parents won't have to do it very often.
I used to spank my son, who is now 4 1/2. But one day I realized that it had been several months since I've spanked him. While he is a very well-behaved, sweet, respectful boy, he certainly still breaks rules. But I suppose he's at an age where his privileges provide more leverage in the battle of his will vs ours. Or perhaps I just don't want to spank him anymore, and I can't imagine ever spanking my almost two-year-old daughter (the sweetest little angel). I've never liked doing it, but now I really would just rather do other things to attain the same goal. Fortunately for me, it works fine.
So I might sound like a hypocrite telling people that they should spank their children, when I don't even spank my own. Maybe I am. All I know is that with parenting, we don't have it all figured out, and well-laid plans are subject to change.
Published by Superdork
I am a wife, and a mother of two children. These two roles are my favorite parts of being alive. I'm one of the most imperfect humans I know. And I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. View profile
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34 Comments
Post a CommentWhen will sensible, normal, civilised human beings get it through their heads that spanking IS hitting no matter what story you like to spin for yourself? Why can't I hit that idiot girl in the shop who forgot to put in my order, or my husband because he decided to eat the leftovers I had wanted to save, or an animal but oh wait! It's fine & dandy to hit a defenceless CHILD ??
Discipline means to teach - without violence - so do it with kindness and gentleness. Sure it will take some extra time sometimes, but that is what being a parent is all about.
I am 56 & spanking destroyed my childhood & taught me nothing except alienation, anger & that my parents didn't love me - how could they, they just hit me! I never spanked my children who are now gentle adults !
I see kids all the time that really need a good spanking. I still believe in this when it is used appropriately and in a controlled, non-reactionary manner. However, I prefer not to use this form of discipline with my children because I do not believe I am disciplined enough to make sure I do it appropriately. And I don't ever want my teaching/discipline to be associated with anger in the eyes of my children. I am a human, and sometimes they just piss me off; this is no condition to be in while effectively communicating anything to anyone.
People that pull down kids pants or panties are pervs. Its not necessary.
Im an artist that makes lerge peices of stianed glass worth thousands. Jodi (daughter) and friend were throwing afrisbee in my studio after I said STOP. 2xs. Never before hhad I touched her in anger but her and Beth (friend) got butt smacked at least 30 times (until I got tired. (Neighbor and I take turns sitting and agreed when necessary , spank em good. No, not a perv. If they were 18 yo boys I'd have punched them good in the stomache. Well, my 2 little "angels" treat me like gold and obey every word I say. Screw Dr. Phil and Oprah.
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE: Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit. Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit. I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do. There are several reasons why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals: Plain Talk About Spanking by Jordan Riak, The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children by Tom Johnson, NO VITAL ORGANS THERE So They Say by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational literature, testimonies, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research. Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea: American Academy of Pediatrics, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Center For Effective Discipline, PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals, Churches Network For Non-Violence, Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps, Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children, United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. In 26 countries child buttock-battering is prohibited by law, and more in process. In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
There is NO difference between 'spanking' and child abuse. 'spanking' means hitting, to hit does mean abuse and to hit a child in any form of way is absolutely disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself with the way you are carrying on saying how much you support it,how there is nothing wrong with it blah blah..all you are saying is that Iam a supporter in hitting people. Unless you need to defend yourself or someone else from danger,it is unacceptable.I was smacked growing up but does it make it right? No it doesnt and the thing is is that we all know it,you know it. This is just disgusting. I dont blame parents who have smacked their children but try not to because they acknowlege that it is wrong and they try to do the right thing,its people like you who I have no respect for whatsoever.It is never okay to hit anybody,let alone a child. You do not deserve to have your children and that is to the rest of you who think there is nothing wrong with hitting people who are smaller t
ok i agreed with everything that you just said. But your daughter is 14 years old. that is understandable. You cant do that with a 5 year old. they will look at you like you are stupid then just do it again.
or whoever it was... idk if it was your mother or not, but you get my point.
Well, that is because you were not spanked the right way. Your mom went over board. All she did was piss you off instead of teach you a lesson.