I was Misdiagnosed as Having Bipolar Disorder

I have long suffered from depression. When I was 25 years old I was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder.

The first time I was diagnosed with depression I was 15 years old. My doctor put me on Prozac. A week after I went on Prozac, due to what my father sighted as unusual behavior, I was taken off.

I went back on anti-depressants when I was 22 years old. I suffer from emetophobia, which is the fear of vomit and vomiting. This turned my life upside down with constant hand-washing to get rid of germs. I would panic about what I ate, who was sick around me, and much on salad only after I washed it in FIT about 10 times.

I had been in and out of therapy for emetophobia since I was eight years old. Granted, no one knew what emetophobia was and just told me that I was eccentric. I knew that it was time to take the next step. I started out on Zoloft. It completely changed my life. I was happy, didn't cry all the time, and I could finally eat a salad without washing it three times.

Life went well for a while. My relationships improved, I wasn't so self conscious of my quirks because they were gone.

Three years into life on Zoloft, I was slipping again. One of my old "quirks" was cleaning everything. I was afraid of germs so over-cleaning made me feel better. Since the doctor had no idea what was wrong with me, she decided to throw more drugs at me. She put me on Depakote. She told me that the cleaning I did was manic behavior.

The Depakote changed my life completely. I started to become withdrawn. I put on 50 pounds, and I started to have crying jags that never ended. I started to feel worse and worse. I believed my doctor. I believed that she would never just throw out a diagnosis if it wasn't true.

I was on the Depakote for about a year when I got a phone call from an ex-boyfriend. He told me he was getting back together with a girl who I was friends with. Now a normal person might cry because her hopes to get back together with this man were dashed. Oh no. Depakote Robin cried and cried until she was blue in the face. I didn't stop. This lasted three days and nights.

I couldn't get it together. I couldn't get anything together. I reverted back to a hardcore depression the likes of which I hadn't experienced since I was on Zoloft. One thing led to another and the next thing I knew I was dropped off in the E.R. and checked into the psych ward of the hospital.

My stay only lasted 24 hours. In that time I realize that I didn't need to be there, but when talking with the doctor I also realized that I wasn't me any more. I was a drugged-up individual who had no concept of who the real Robin was.

Once I got out of the hospital I should have started to get off the medication, but no. I stayed on the Depakote for another three years. Four years total believing that I was bipolar. In fact, the first thing I said to my husband before I started dating him was that I was bipolar and he should run now.

Slowly, with the help of my husband, I switched doctors. My new therapist got me off the Depakote and confirmed that I was not suffering from bipolar disorder. I was never actually manic.

The sad thing is that bipolar disorder is such a serious illness. To have doctors going around diagnosing people with it just because they want them on one medication or another is frightening.

To tell someone they have a disease when they don't... well let's just say that if the doctor who diagnosed me said that I had cancer, started me on cancer meds, and then four years later another doctor came around and told me I was fine, and never was actually sick, we would be talking major lawsuit. The thing with mental health is actually confirming a diagnosis is next to impossible. Usually the patient is in a weak state mentally, as I was, therefore, willing to not even question what the doctors diagnosis is.

I have been off Depakote for three years now. I am also off Zoloft. I am happily married and am no longer seeing a therapist, in part because of my experience with being misdiagnosed. I truly believe I am lucky and now being off all of my medication, I truly feel alive again.