Icy Hot Pain Reliever

"Oh it aches!" I groaned with a sigh,
Then I rubbed Icy Hot on my inner thigh.

It felt cool and warm when I rubbed it on,
Then it rubbed off on my balls when I walked along.

"AHHH! OUCH!" I started to yell,
Such a painful feeling, such a burning hell!

I was out in the woods, no water in sight
To wash off this pain, to ease my plight.

♫You can buy it in stores, you can buy it in malls,
But don't get Icy Hot on your balls;
Don't get Icy Hot on your balls. ♫

Oh Icy Hot, such a stench you are!
You smell worse than the inside of my car.

Most of the time I use you you're fine;
You sooth my muscles and are seemingly kind.

After eternal minutes of searing pain,
The pain subsided that drove me insane.

♫You can buy it in stores, you can buy it in malls,
But don't get Icy Hot on your balls;
Don't get Icy Hot on your balls. ♫

Strange that the cat is attracted to the smell,
And wants to lick the Icy Hot as well.

"Get away, cat! This is not for you!
This will burn your tongue." What else is new?

♫You can buy it in stores, you can buy it in malls,
But don't get Icy Hot on your balls;
Don't get Icy Hot on your balls. ♫

The ingredients are:

Methyl Salicylate (30%), Menthol (10%) in a cream also containing Carbomer, Cetyl Esters, Emulsifying Wax, Oleth-3 Phosphate, Stearic Acid, Triethanolamine, Water.

♫That's what the plasic jar contains;
Good for sore muscles, backaches, and pains.♫

For external use only.
If prone to allergic reaction from aspirin or salicylate, consult a doctor before using.
Keep out of reach of children.
Do NOT swallow, if swallowed call a physician or contact poison control center immediately.
Keep away from eyes, mucus membranes, broken or irritated skin.
Do not bandage tightly or use a heating pad.
If skin redness or irritation develops, or pain lasts more than 7 days, discontinue use and contact a physician.

♫Those are the warnings on the jar;
Heed them well and you will go far.♫

If you haven't tried Icy Hot, you're in for a treat;
It's a cool sensation combined with heat.

It relieves my pain when my muscles are sore;
That's why I buy Icy Hot at the store.

If you're old and decrepit, feeling less than new,
Icy Hot relieves arthritis too.

♫You can buy it in stores, you can buy it in malls,
But don't get Icy Hot on your balls;
Don't get Icy Hot on your balls. ♫

♫If you go camping, bring water along
In case you rub Icy Hot near your thong;
In case you rub Icy Hot near your thong. ♫

Oh Icy Hot, you are hot and you're cold
Like a teasing lover. In stores you are sold.

I rate you three stars; you're not all bad,
But you're not the best medicine I ever had.

♫You can buy it in stores, you can buy it in malls,
But don't get Icy Hot on your balls;
Don't get Icy Hot on your balls. ♫

(Repeat chorus and fade out.)

Icy Hotdual action formula is available in a non-greasy 1.25 oz. & 3 oz. cream, balm, 1.75 oz. solid chill stick, patch, and the all new ICY HOT Sleeve, designed for maximum joint pain relief.

For more product information, go to http://www.chattem.com/products/icy.asp