Identifying Conduct Disorder in Your Child

So you think your child may have conduct disorder? Or you aren't sure what's wrong with your child, but find yourself running out of ways to deal with his behavior? As a parent who's been there, and knowing the relief I felt to finally know what was "wrong" with my child, I can feel your pain and frustration. First things first, however, it's important to understand that if you suspect your child has conduct disorder, you cannot and should not attempt to diagnose or treat it yourself. Only a licensed mental health professional can make the final diagnosis and guide you in trying to treat it.

- Conduct disorder is characterized by a constant pattern of misbehavior by a child, in which other's personal rights are violated, and the child has no consideration for basic rules- at home, school or in social settings. A child with conduct disorder tends to show outright defiance and ignores rules, continuing the pattern of "misbehavior" in any and all social settings. This can make it really difficult to be able to treat conduct disorder effectively.

- While some misbehaviors or patterns of behavior are normal in children at some point during childhood, the primary characteristics of conduct disorder include aggressiveness, deceitfulness, and/or severe lack of consideration for rules and other's personal boundaries or space. A child with conduct disorder doesn't normally feel empathy in a way that helps them relate to others, they usually will escalate situations quickly if they feel "attacked" or mistreated, and there are usually issues in the child's academic work.

- The most important thing a parent of a child with conduct disorder can do is to educate themselves. Learn as much as you can about conduct disorder, what treatments are considered effective, and stay on top of the latest research. Keeping yourself informed can help you to help your child more effectively.

- If you suspect conduct disorder, it's important to have your child evaluated by a mental health professional as soon as possible, the earlier diagnosis is made, the more effective treatment is. Make sure that the professional you take your child to is well-versed in the diagnosis and treatment of conduct disorder, and it really helps to find one who is specially trained to work with children.

- Find a support group and/or go to counseling for yourself. It's really important to remember that you aren't alone, and that there is hope for your child- for your family.

- It's important to remember that not all treatments are going to be effective for your child, and it's essential that you show patience and understanding. Treatment for conduct disorder must be individualized specifically for your child. Like any other mental condition, there is no "one size fits all" treatment for conduct disorder.

- Children who have conduct disorder are usually much more disturbed than children with other similar mental health conditions. They are more likely to show aggressiveness towards people or pets, destroy property, lie, steal, have problems in school, bully other children (and even adults), and they are more apt to run away. If your child shows these symptoms and shows little or no remorse for his/her actions, get him into a mental health professional immediately.

- Dealing with a child who has conduct disorder can strain a marriage and family life- usually one parent will want to be more strict with the child, while the other wants to be more permissive- this puts parents at odds. Your child may bully or be aggressive to his/her siblings, and this also causes stress on the family. Seeking help is the only solution to this problem.

- For a child to actually be diagnosed with conduct disorder, he or she must be old enough and developed enough mentally to be able to understand and follow rules. In essence, he/she needs to be able to know "right" from "wrong," and be able to understand the consequences.

- Do not allow your child to use his or her conduct disorder as an "excuse" to misbehave. It's important to still set rules in the household and for the child, and expect him/her to obey them. For a child to be able to modify his behavior, he needs to have a set-standard of what's expected of him.

- Understand that a few isolated incidences of stealing, lying, severe defiance, or aggressiveness are not the same thing as conduct disorder. Conduct disorder is something that occurs on a regular, consistent basis and happens over longer periods of time. Usually a mental health professional will not even diagnose a child with conduct disorder unless she has been having severe behavioral problems for at least a year.

- Children with conduct disorder tend to have low self-esteem, even if they act as though they don't care about something, or try to come across as "nonchalant" or certain of themselves and their behavior.

- Children with conduct disorder also have trouble with friendships, relationships with family members, and will end up attempting to keep pushing at those they are closest to, even when they see that person is getting frustrated with them and their behavior. In my daughter's case, this has been her way of trying to seek reassurance that I still love her.

- While conduct disorder typically begins after a child has reached the age of 10- or by adolescence- it can start manifesting as early as the age of 6. Typically, kids who have early-onset conduct disorder tend to have more long-term problems, and are more at risk for difficult personal relationships, school truancy and learning issues.

- Like a lot of other mental disorders, there appears to be some link between parents who had conduct disorder as children and their children developing it. It is possible that it's hereditary, I know I had conduct disorder as a child, and now my daughter does.

If your child has conduct disorder, or you suspect that she does, remember that it's not the end of the world. Conduct disorder is manageable and treatable. Have patience, know that there's hope, and have your child evaluated as soon as possible.