Identity Theft and Stupid People: How a Little Common Sense Can Save You

I am not a saint. The average person is not a saint, not even a "good Samaritan." And maybe it's a tad cynical to say that most people do (or don't do) things because of the inevitable guilt, and not because of the warm fuzzy wuzzies.

In the last couple years, I have seen at least a couple hundred Social Security Numbers, birth dates, and middle names. I have worked in the service industry, verified identities, inputted data, and dealt with cash, credit, and insurance. I have had legitimate reasons to have such information. And I have seen many pale attempts at identity protection - namely, the refusal to provide a Social Security Number (SSN). Some people won't give a damn and will give you their SSN before they even give you their name. Others will quote their lawyer/government regarding the giving out of their SSN to unverifiable sources over the phone. Our usual response is "You called us", or some form of explanation on how "snail mail" (the Postal Service) is federally protected should they wish to wait a week or so for an answer, as long as they include their SSN in their written request. Some people just don't understand that SSNs are used to protect their money, credit records, and insurance, and may, therefore, be necessary when speaking to their bank, credit provider, or insurance agent.

But that's not the problem. (Never give your personal information to unknown entities. Shred your important documents before throwing them out - I have a diamond-cut. Be conscious of your surroundings and you own actions.) The problem is stupid people and their rampant lack of common sense.

Authorities will tell you about identity theft rings, where gangster-wannabes spend hours inputting your data into spreadsheets for sale. And yes, the big flashy crimes are always the ones that make you go out and buy a shredder and a filing cabinet (which you then abandon after a month of no longer being scared). But it's the stupid little things that we do that make us more willing participants than victims.

Being fashionable is not a reason for being stupid. Come on now. We all know this girl. She sits at her desk during lunch and orders shoes, a purse, jewelry, concert tickets, etc. She sits in the back, talking to a Customer Service Representative (CSR) on a cell phone that is more static than words. Then she talks louder because the CSR doesn't quite understand her. And soon you realize that you understand her screeching voice better than the lunchmate beside you. "No! My name is [name]. I said [full name]. No, my middle name is [middle name]. What? Do you need me to spell that out for you? My Social Security Number is [Social Security Number]. No, the last numbers are [last four digits]. Why do you need to know that? Okay, fine. My birth date is [birth date]. My password? I don't know my password. My mother's what? Her maiden name is [maiden name]. Yeah. Wait. [password]. My password is [password]. Yeah, okay. I want to get the shoes on page..." And before you know it, you've got her entire family history, including her previous address, which is no longer the current shipping address, though it is still the current billing address because her [relationship] still lives there. At first, it's white noise. And then you realize, after hearing the same conversation three times a week for the past two months, that you probably aren't the only one who now has her identity firmly stuck in your head - your co-workers, your supervisors, the hot mail guy, the cute FedEx girl, the lady who sells Avon, those construction workers who asked to use the bathroom, the homeless guy that had to be chased out of the building (three times) after being seen rifling through the refrigerator in the break room...

Being unimaginative is not a reason for being stupid. Now, these people aren't so much annoying, as they are boring. New equipment, new technology, new strategy - just something new that needs to be explained. And since they don't have an example ready to show the group/class/office, they use themselves. Now, I'm not talking about providing a personal anecdote to exemplify some sort of virtue/situation/policy. I mean, showing off a new system by providing your own SSN to all of your inferiors/underlings/employees. "Here, let me show you how this works. My Social Security Number is [Social Security Number]. See, now you can pull up my account much faster. And see in the Information Field? You can see that I have two other policies connected to my account. Just click here and you can pull the insurance policies that I have on my sons..." And yes, there is a difference between using a random client and your own personal information - anonymity. Random information holds no appeal to "good" people (and background checks usually screen out fraud convictions). But what can start out as a little curiosity can quickly end with the people below you knowing a little too much about you.

Being young is not a reason for being stupid. Yes, I'm talking about those guys, the college freshmen on their own for the first time, celebrating their liberation from mommy and daddy's watchful eyes, who also just happen to move into the apartment upstairs. Yes, we know them. They blast their loud music from 3:00 pm to 10:00 am, everyday (not just weekends). They move into family complexes and then have large drunken parties, after which, the young families (young couples with infants) must contend with a do-nothing landlord more interested in being "in" with the cool guys than the fact that everyone is now pissed off and tired. Beer bottles, beer cans, and the occasional drunk urinator who takes a leak on the tree that shades your kitchen sink (the one you just happen to look out of as you wash your dishes).

You call your landlord many times; he promises to go talk to them; you get frustrated when nothing changes; he finally tells you to just call the cops because it really has nothing to do with him; you ask him whether his maintenance workers like having to clean up hundreds of beer cans/bottles and human urine everyday before you hang up. You call the cops; the music quiets down, then starts back up louder than ever; you call the cops; the music stops for the night; the cops give out citations/warnings and finds many underage drinkers. The next morning, the pissed off, underage, alcohol-serving party hosts leave you a gift on your front door: a torn-up copy of the citation they received. Good job, huh? Pissing off a neighbor so badly that they have to call the cops twice in one night, then handing them a piece of paper with both their full names, driver's license numbers, SSNs, birth dates, and other personal data. You laugh, and you think to yourself, "How can I screw over these bastards the next time they try to screw over me?" Then you tape the torn bits together, sit down at your computer, and type in the school website. Now, I'm not suggesting that every time you get pissed off at someone, you should tear their identity a new one, if they happen to hand you all of their information. And I'm not advising assholes to stick their citations on their fridges, instead of handing them out to people they piss off. I happen to believe in common courtesy (just like common sense), and situations like this really shouldn't happen, ever (but they do).

Being (adjective) is not a reason for being stupid. Huh. I swear I had one more example listed, but I can't for the life of me remember. But you get the point, right? Stupid people and pissed-off people do not mix. There are many ways you can lose your identity. And there are many ways you can protect it. But by all means, don't make it easy. Make them work for it. Buy a shredder and use it. Provide your personal information to verifiable sources that you need. For goddess' sake, don't hand it out to people who don't like you, just because you're acting stupid.