Idiomatic Halloween Costumes

So, you're heading off to another wonderful Halloween costume party. Good for you! I'll be thinking of you as I lounge around home with a bowl of popcorn and a good movie. Bah humbug, I say! But if you have to go (or you are one of those fun people who love costume parties), then here are a few non-traditional ideas for your awesome ensemble. Since each costume is an idiom, it will probably start a few conversations for you . . . even if you are making small talk with Dracula or one of the Seven Dwarfs.

Piggyback: Simply fasten a pig (the stuffed animal variety) to your back.

Push the envelope: Carry around an envelope in your pocket. When folks ask you what you are, pull it out and pretend to push it as you walk around them. It might take some miming skills, but I have confidence in you.

Pass the buck: This one is great if you are incredibly generous. Simply fill your wallet with fresh one-dollar bills, and when people question your costume, hand them one.

Red Handed & Red Neck: This is easy enough. Using non-toxic water-based paint or face paint, color your hand or neck red. If you are feeling adventurous, then go as a red neck that got caught red handed.

Wet Behind the ears: Carry around a spray bottle of water. When asked about your costume, look shyly away, and give yourself a few quick sprays behind the ears.

Caught with their pants down: This one is pretty self explanatory, but be sure to wear leggings, or shorts (this is a PG article), and don't trip.

Chip on his shoulder: Fasten a tortilla chip to your shoulder.

Dead Ringer: This one is great for Halloween. Do zombie makeup, wear tatters, and walk around ringing a bell.

End of Story: Paint a big letter "Y" on a t-shirt.

Face the music: Carry a piece of sheet music around, and during every conversation you have, turn away from the person, hold the paper in front of you and, well, you know.

Flea Market: Wear white, and glue small black dots all over yourself. Pin a "Fleas- $1 each" sign on your back, and scratch often. Then go see the guy who came as 'pass the buck'.

In the bag: Put leg, arm, and head holes in a large plastic bag, and wear it like a dress.

Ivy League: Wear a sports jersey, and decorate yourself with fresh or fake vines of ivy. Make sure it is not poison ivy.

Lollygag: Make a gag out of a folded bandana. Tie the bandana around a large lollypop and tie both of them over your mouth. This is especially good if you don't want to talk to anyone.

New York Minute: Wear an "I love New York" t-shirt, and a big stopwatch. Be sure to conspicuously check your time often

Okay, you got me! These idiom costumes are slightly idiotic, but they are easy to do, and will help you be the life of the party. Have a safe and happy Halloween!