If I Could Talk to Rebecca Black,

If you haven't heard the song by now, you will have heard about it. And if you haven't heard about it, you will eventually. Rebecca Black is a relatively new teen pop sensation to hit the entertainment market. She debuted with a music video and single, "Friday", which has gone viral on You Tube and it's unique in that it has over a million "hates" and very few likes to it. It's been dubbed one of the worst songs ever recorded and the most hated music video ever. Honestly? I've heard much worse during my career as an over the air disc jockey. I actually kind of like it. Many of the comments on the video on You Tube are bashing on this beautiful young lady, and there's lots of harsh and downright mean criticism ranging from her voice quality to her intelligence. Quite frankly this hating needs to stop. The producer of the video took full responsibility.

If I had a chance to speak to Ms. Black personally, or some way to get this message to her, here's what I would tell her. First of all, it appears that she and her mother (who paid a hefty sum to the recording company to help her achieve her dream of becoming a pop star) are taking this with a grain of salt and are opting to keep the video out there. And I have seen Ms. Black offer some feedback. She is a very mature young lady who appears to have a good attitude about all this negative publicity. Good girl!! I have a niece about her age, and a niece and a son both who are almost in her age group so I know that in today's world, it is tough to be a kid. Even I had a rough time of that period in my life and I had aspirations to become a singer as well. I was good at it. We just didn't have the money, You Tube or even the internet to spread my talents around so I went into the entertainment business through a different route. If I couldn't be a singer, I could at least become someone who promoted singers by becoming a radio broadcaster. I did alright with it and I was good at that too.

Nowadays I make my living being a personal assistant to a man who is best known for his work as a celebrity impersonator. I have been in this position for four years and have come a long way since this unlikely career found me. It literally FOUND ME. I wasn't looking for a job at the time. Since then I have learned a lot of things that may be helpful to Ms. Black and her family.

First of all, the most beloved celebrities out there have "haters". A musician friend of my employer told him once that haters are nothing more than closet fans. It is important for Ms. Black to remember this because she's quickly becoming famous because people claim to "hate" her song. (The thing is, the song is actually not that bad. Yeah, it's repetitive which tends to get it stuck in a person's head and the repetition really does annoy some people). I have had personal experience with people who claim to hate my employer with a purple passion, but yet, the "closet fan" analogy rings true. They are almost always going to pounce any chat board thread where his name comes up and bash him online. I see their IP addresses pop up on his website on an almost daily basis. If I block them, they find other ways to view his website. They defy logic. If I truly hated someone or something, I would be miles apart from it. Instead, these so-called haters and cyberbully wannabes seem to watch his every move and to a lesser extent, mine. I seem to have my own fan club and my share of haters also. So Ms. Black should remember that haters come with the territory. Many people who opt for a career in the entertainment business want to be loved, admired, and liked. They don't always count on the people who love to hate or choose to dislike them. But the thing to remember, it's YOU who laughs all the way to the bank. When I wanted to write a science fiction novella, I tried the manuscript on several people. It was loved at a three to one ratio. But I realized, if I ever got it published and made money on it, I shouldn't care who liked it or not because the person who didn't like it would still buy it and it would be the same money earned either way. Remember too: not every thirteen year old girl can claim she's gotten the attention of Charlie Sheen, Conan O'Brien and others.

Secondly of all, I learned that you can pay attention to any negative criticism and turn it into constructive criticism really easily. For example, if people are nitpicking about the same issue repeatedly, it's time to assess what could be done differently and better and using that as a means to improve upon an already working formula. If it's not broke don't fix it obviously but if someone is complaining that her voice is grating, then perhaps she could use this as a clue that a vocal coach could be a great asset to her. If people truly hate the lyrics to the song, perhaps it could be a good idea to expose her talents to song writers who have lots of experience under their belts. I am not one to judge or harshly criticize in a negative manner. I can see the potential there and so I hope she finds someone who can show the world what she's truly made of.

Thirdly, impersonation is the sincerest form of flattery. I have noticed all the parodies that have sprung up from this song. They literally beat Weird Al Yankovic to the punch on it. There are parodies covering every day of the week out there right now, but my favorites are "Monday" and "Someday." Granted many of the parodies out there cross the lines of good taste, but there really is a bright side to it. Just about every popular celebrity out there has been picked on and parodied on "South Park." Nobody is immune. So Ms. Black should not be surprised to see her song soon making Kenny McCormick killing himself after hearing her song. (Oh my god, she killed Kenny!!!)
It may at first seem negative but again, turning a negative into a positive, all these parodies mean are that someone in the high ranks of stardom pays attention to what you are doing. This phenomenon is also at play whenever a celebrity is sat up on a stage and ridiculed and made fun on purpose in the form of a roast. Their friends and colleagues show respect to them by making fun of them. It's a weird concept to wrap one's head around but that's how it is.

Fourthly, bad publicity is still publicity. When someone hates your video or song, your name is still out there, and they don't realize that their outward apparent hatred is actually what propels your name to the top and then continues to feed the fire. The more someone publicly proclaims a dislike for it, the more people who go over and check it out to see what everyone is hollering about. Then these people will holler about it and get more people to go check what the hubbub is about and so on...it snowballs from there. They actually don't realize they did you a tremendous favor. So instead of thinking of the millions of people who clicked "dislike" and insulted the video/song, just think that millions of people saw it. Congratulations. You set out to do what you wanted to do: which was to make a music video, get your name out there, and get a taste of stardom. You got it alright...it may not have been in the way expected but you got it. The time would be to worry if nobody at all paid it any nevermind. You are a success my dear...and believe me, people are going to be watching to see what your next move is going to be when all this hype from "Friday" dies down. It will never completely die down now that it's out there.

Just don't give up on your dream. Your name is already out there. Milk it for all it's worth.