If I Don't Lose Weight Soon I Will Join a Band of Roving Gypsies

"Desperate times call for desperate measures."
This saying is especially true for me now as I attempt, yet again, to lose weight.
After so many years of yo-yo dieting, I find myself answering random calls of: "Yo...Yo" that I hear in public. It can prove somewhat embarrassing; but, I have met some nice folks.

Since I haven't kept the weight off when I have a small support system; I figured that I might be able to do this if I tell more people. It's pretty much a mathematical equation. 100 is larger than 10. It's harder to tell 100 people that you ate a box of chocolate than to tell 10 people that you ate two boxes of chocolate. Smaller groups of people can be more accepting and, easier to tell the whole truth.

Since I am on a mission to lose weight, I will repeat my promise.

If I don't lose weight soon I will join a band of roving gypsies.

Although that might actually be fun, I do have responsibilities here in Chicago. Somebody has to shop and contribute to the highest total sales tax of all the U.S. major cities.

Now that I have proclaimed my intention to the world, I'd better jog on over to the health club. If I'm still sitting here in an hour, though, I'll start looking for my gypsy clothes. That shouldn't be too hard since I dressed up as a gypsy last Halloween...or was that yesterday? I'm not really sure. The days sometimes run together.

Anyways, now that I have "shouted from the rooftop" that I will be the next Cindy Crawford, I have no other recourse than to put down my bag of potato chips, lace up my walking shoes and "just do it."

Since I don't really belong to a health club, I power walk around the neighborhood while listening to catchy tunes on my Walkman like: "This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no fooling around." The last part is especially true. I "ain't fooling around" anymore about losing weight.

That is why I'm boldly stating my goal. My objectives are: lose weight, motivate others and look and feel great. Also, I would like to learn all the words to Weird Al Yankovic's "Albuquerque" song. I have about 90% of it memorized. But, I digress.

So, I'm off. I could put on my walking clothes but on second thought, I think I'll wear my gypsy garb.

I may just want to join a roving band of gypsies anyways.