If You Have a Horrible Co-Worker

I did not read The Devil Wears Prada, nor did I see the movie. Why would I bother when, based on the hype and reviews, I had already worked for someone extremely similar? It was, therefore, the title of Manda Spring's article How to Deal with the Behavior of Horrible Co-workers that got my attention.

I like to consider myself a "people person", and my successes in my mostly-customer-service employment history lend themselves to that judgment. Most of my co-workers have been fabulous people with whom I could find some common ground and from whom I could learn a little, or in certain cases, a great deal. Like everyone, though, I have worked with a few people who can bring to mind no thought but "Satan's spawn walking the Earth". I had really hoped that Ms. Spring's article would be able to help me where my people skills fail, because, like most, there is that sense of "being pushed too far" where good manners and proper upbringing simply do not provide for an appropriate response.

The article, to me, was quite disappointing. It reads more like a rant than the helpful 'How to' I had expected. In fact, I do enjoy the occasional vent-session against the more frustrating people that one encounters, yet, to me, this particular offering lacks any redeeming value aside from the fact that it (I hope) made the author feel better to get it off her chest. Perhaps, if she had injected a little humor, or at least had shown a more creative vocabulary and less blatant name-calling, the article would have provided more appeal for me.

Co-workers with whom you do not get along are easily one of the most frustrating parts of any job. No matter where you go, there will be some people with who you will disagree, some people whom you will simply dislike, and, in some case, some people who will seem to make it their lives focus to present you in the most negative light possible. It can be frustrating, tiresome and stressful to deal with these situations on a daily basis. In fact, "horrible" co-workers can make the idea of going into work cause for severe dread.

Trying to ignore them as Ms. Spring suggests is a great idea, particularly when the problem is a simple personality conflict. I would, however, advise against trying to "team up" with other coworkers as a general rule. This sort of behavior brings to mind the clique-ish nature of high school and can make you appear childish, petty and immature to both co-workers and superiors.

Here are some other tips to try, after you have judged the situation as objectively as you can. There is, after all, a big difference between a co-worker who is horrible in your opinion and a co-worker who is breaking laws and/or company policies. A situation where the "horrible" behavior is likely to have a detrimental effect on the company, its customers, its business associates or its employees should, of course, be taken very seriously and handled as provided for in the company's policies.

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• Give it one more shot. It is possible that this whole horrible situation snowballed from a single misunderstanding. Your co-worker may not realize that they are offending you, may feel that you are the one who does not like them, or may think that you are being just as horrible. A quick chat or small gesture of goodwill might be all it would take to clear up the situation and make your workplace more comfortable for both of you.
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• Adjust your schedule. Assuming that you and your horrible co-worker and not cubicle mates, project partners, or otherwise forced to work very closely together, you may be able to see less of them, thus having a better day. Consider when and where you usually run into this person. Do you really have to be in those places at those times, or could you alter your routine to miss them? Also, are they seeking you out, only to leave you wishing you were harder to find? Shake up your schedule and they won't know where to find you.
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• Look into your transfer options. If you are stuck with a horrible cubicle mate or project partner, the only way to escape may be to request to be reassigned. Even if this is not the case, it never hurts to know what your options are. Is there another department in the company where you would not have to deal with this "horrible" person? Is there a branch office, or a location in another city? If you have tried everything you could and just do not seem to be able to resolve your differences, a transfer may be your best solution. Actually, this assumes that you want to stay with the company, and assumes that the "horrible" co-worker is not in a superior position where they will still be able to effect you.
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• Consider quitting. Sounds drastic, doesn't it? Job hunting can be stressful, and quitting should always be seen as a very last resort. Unfortunately, your co-worker probably is not going to do it, no matter how many psychic suggestions you send their way. So should you quit? Give your situation careful thought before making this move. Discuss your problem with people you trust for advice, and with people (such as your family) whom it will affect. You may also want to read Natalie Boyd's article How to Decide Whether It's Time to Quit Your Job or Tamiya King's article How To Know When It's Time to Quit Your Job.
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