If Life Gives You Lemons, Use Your Imagination

As if growing up wasn't hard enough, I suffer from chronic bad luck. If there's a stair, I trip over it, if there's a puddle within a ten-foot radius I step in it; and if someone's sitting in a wet spot it's always me. Fortunately, these mishaps have lent me a quick wit and the priceless ability to laugh at myself. It's simple for anyone to become caught up in little, or even big things going wrong, but the most important lesson I've learned thus far is that a little bit of laughter, wherever you can find it, makes everything easier. Stepping back to look at a situation from a different perspective often makes things a little easier and one learns to just roll with the punches. The talent to find humor when life gets tough is invaluable, and has helped me survive everything from standardized tests to a close friend's death.

Working as a waitress for almost a year, I thought that I had made every mistake and mispronounced every Greek entrée on the menu (one would be amazed at how a tongue can butcher "Gyros" after a ten hour shift). I've stubbed enough toes to surprise a centipede and there is no doubt in my mind that an army could be fed with all the food I've dropped. On any given day, little mishaps go under my radar, but this specific afternoon had started out with a flat tire, a fight, and Fate wasn't merciful.

It was a Wednesday, so the financial forecast predicted a long, slow night. When I was finally given a table, I sauntered over and drummed up a conversation. Surprisingly, the restaurant became busy and an influx of people poured in. As my actions went on auto-pilot, I became increasingly frenetic in pace; finishing people's sentences and tossing napkins towards tables in desperation. I was abruptly stopped in mid-gallop by an ominous "ping!" An uncomfortable feeling set in as the repercussions of that tiny sound became clear. My bra had broken; snapped in two like a holiday wishbone. At that point I probably could have been knocked over by a dirty glare given my state of shock. While I was the only one aware of the security breach, it felt as if a Vegas billboard flashing over my head, announcing the "wardrobe malfunction".

I incredulously shook my head, and fled to the back of the kitchen. It felt like I was crimson down the soles of my feet, and I struggled for a solution. After everyone giggled at my plight, solutions were brainstormed. Still significantly busy, I had to act fast. Gum, duct tape, and sheer force of will all seemed like viable solutions in the heat of the moment, but a stapler prevailed. Geometry, sewing, and driving stick-shift in winter were all swiftly usurped on my top ten list of "difficult activities that test my patience" by this situation. Trying to staple an errant undergarment back together while sweating profusely and laughing like a hiccupping hyena is comparable to lassoing a greased snake while blindfolded on a motorcycle; Impossible!! At one pivotal moment, an innocent restroom user pushed the door in, much to my dismay. I can only imagine the story she must have concocted to explain to her daughter why the waitress was stapling her clothing in a hysterical fit of laughter.

The staple fought a good fight but was defeated after a few valiant minutes. Plan B was nowhere to be found, and was later spotted hiding with my dignity. Amid the confusion, my fellow waitress provided me with a spare she had in her car and the night went on. Bra-less waitressing is not on my agenda of things to do before I die but served as another reminder to take a breathe and laugh a little..

I pity the person who can't step back and laugh at the sheer hilarity, bad luck, or wrong timing of life's curveballs. The entire night was a gentle reminder to lighten up and laugh. I have such a packed schedule that I often end up concentrating on the road and forget to look up and enjoy the view. Sometimes it takes a kick in the pants, or a slice of the underwear, to force an appreciation of life and laughter. Growing up is difficult no matter who you are; humor can only help.