If Only Zen Would Improve the Worst Parts of Family Travel

Family travel can provide some of the best memories, even if you think about them later and just laugh. Here's ten examples of what makes family travel the worst sort of fun to endure.

Worst Fun Family Travel Activity Involves Disney Character Transformations

There you are, standing in a circle with all the loved ones in the family staring you eyeball to eyeball when poof, a transformation happens. You've all been turned into Beatles vulture lookalikes from Disney's Jungle Book. "Where do you want to go, eat, sleep etc." "I dunno. Where do you wanna eat?" Ah, the good times, you just can't beat standing in a ring with wafflers.

Worst Fun Family Travel involves Eskimo Dinners

Most meals with family on family travel adventures turn out to be an ordeal. Restaurants just don't know what to do with more than six people, and when you're with family, you all must sit at the same table. That means you all get to eat cold. It means meals last unendurable long because one waitress just doesn't cut it for a large group. It means your beer will be blue and your sisters blue martini will be green and you have to pick the ice cubes out of your sizzling fajitas.

Worst Fun Family Hikes Proceed Like Chanting Monks Or Howler Monkeys

"But my feet hurt."

"No whiners", you say.

So then another child says, "can we rest now?"

"We just rested", you say.

Another child pulls off her shoes and starts picking stickers out of her socks while standing in a pile of stickers. "Ow, ouch, ooh, help, help." You roll your eyes while everyone sits down, again.

Ten minutes beyond the sock deburring, you're back at, "but my feet hurt." I though all chants were" Ohm" not "Oh, my dear lord, help me." The first time I heard howler monkeys crawling through the trees overhead growling hooow, how, howww, I thought my sisters had followed me to Peru.

Worst Fun Family Travel Involves Bickering About Nothing

"Yes, you did." "No, I didn't." No matter the topic. Where do you put the camera, I didn't, where did you put the camera." Sigh. And you thought you wanted intellectual stimulation. Quiet would do.

Who's Who in the Family on the Worst Fun Family Travel

Someone's hand is always on someone's head and someone always says, "is this Jimmy?" or Beth or Sue. Then someone always replies," Yes", so of course there has to be the response "Why the last time I saw Jimmy, he or she was only this high". Nothing better than staring at a bunch of strangers and playing guess who and you can't even ask mom because she shushes you, saying, "I'll tell you later". Thank goodness its my turn to play, is this Jimmy?

Worst Fun Family Travel Involves Shared Accommodations

The worst trip event of my life started with my married sister getting a room with two full size bed, then telling me to go take a really, really, really long bath. I mean, how long do you wait before getting out?

Worst Fun Family Travel Involves Collecting Souvenirs

"I need to go potty," someone cries from in back, all because the mini mart you're passing has toys out front. You groan, because if you don't stop, little whiner number one will bawl and if you do stop little whiner number two will beg for a gift and your entire rear window is filled with fuzzy cubes, broken glow in the dark bracelets, stickers and other lovely dollar junk you wished you could throw away.

Worst Fun Family Travel Involves Pass it On

We started the game in church with the object of hitting your sister or brother conveyed they had to pass hit the person next to them and it passed down the line of sisters until it reached the end and then it traveled back and of course, dad would play but mom would always shake her finger and give you the look. But that isn't the bad part. The bad part comes when the potluck has been reheated too many times or little Bill is sick with a tummy ache and one by one it passes on and you're all together and all sick.

Worst Family Travel Involves Swimming Yellow

You insist you all meet at the hotel with the pool and the day is hot, and you've spent your day driving and so you hop into your swimsuit ready to cool off, stretch some muscles and then maybe nap in the sun before the nightly waffle session before the icy food when what should your wondering eyes reveal but a swimming pool full of twerps and the pool water a bit sickly in color.

Worst Family Travel Involves the Rerun Movie

About the time someone in the family says, "Let's watch Family Vacation" or in our family for a number of years, "Steel Magnolias", you have to groan because you may just end up in a sit fest that lasts an entire day going from movie to movie and worse if they are all snifflers rather than comedies. The only thing worse is actually having to talk, that would mean you'd have to have something in common or worse yet, you'd have to think.

Although we all have the groaners where we all do the cliché thing, it still can be fun to travel to visit family, why else would you go to Cincinnati, Ohio when you could have gone to Hawaii.