If Perception is Reality, Why Not Create Your Own

A phrase that comes up a lot nowadays is "Perception is Reality." Although this concept is wrong on a factual basis, it is reality in terms of living in today's society in which interacting and relating to others is a necessity for survival and success in today's world.

When it comes to the field of communications, which is basically the most important field in terms of work and life, other people's perceptions can dramatically shape our self concept and self esteem. It can also make or break a career. Whether the perceptions are accurate or not, if your actions portary laziness, rudeness or a lack of professionalism, whether it's deserved, or not, it can make or break a career path.

In growing up, especially as an adolescent, what others say about us, or our perception of what they think based on the reactions of others, tends to act as a mirror for how we see ourselves. As we get older, we find that being true to ourselves is necessary when it comes to being able to actualize our potential and that we cannot control how others perceive us. We can only control our actions. However a lot of us still have a bit of adolescence in us, and how we feel about our attractiveness or self worth is still very much governed by what others say about us.

A lot of young people fall into this trap. It involves aspiring to meet an image that is unattainable for most - the glossy image of beauty and success quantified by a standard imposed by those around us. We feel we must meet a standard of success; that in order to be happy, others must look at our lives and careers and say you're successful. If we can be strong enough to focus on happiness rather than "success," or hold our own definition of what success is and aspire to that, life will be a lot more enjoyable. Most of our lives will be spent in the pursuit of goals, not the attainment. Therefore, it is far more important to enjoy the journey.

The problem, of course, is that an over reliance on other people's perception, and how it pertains to our self esteem, can lead to psychological problems. Too much of a reliance on positive feedback from others puts us in the vulnerable position of creating an environment in which others can make or break us. The maturity and strength of character that comes with an acceptance and an appreciation of ourselves, along with our flaws, will help the individual journey through this complex world we live in which is awash in shades of grey.

One thing that can fog a person's perception is biases created by past experiences. Take, for example, the perception of the world a person might have if they were raised in a loving, supportive family. That particular individual's perception of self and others, and the world we live in, would be one of optimism, which opens the mind, creating a filter that feeds the individual the information that will help a person grow and succeed.

By contrast, someone who grows up in a dysfunctional, abusive environment, could find their views discolored to the point that they choose paths that lead them to dissapointment and further misery. In a way, they actually choose misery over happiness because they unknowingly assume they deserve it or expect it. Most of us know through basic psychology that thoughts lead to actions and negative perceptions of self and the world we live in causes us to prove ourselves right.