If You're a Woman, that Wants Choices in Men, It's Time to Take Out the Trash

Do you feel you have no choice when it comes to the men you have dated? It's the nice guy or the jerk and often the nice guy, just doesn't do it for you. You often find yourself wondering where is the guy in the middle. He's nice but not a pushover. He has a wild side but knows what a relationship is all about.

I remember as a little boy I use to play monkey in the middle. Sometimes I was the monkey, sometimes I was on the end; forcing some poor kid to chase something that she so desperately wanted. It was a game and although cruel, mirrors modern relationships as do many playground games. In this dilemma of choosing the nice guy or the jerk you set yourself up as the monkey in the middle. You want a healthy exciting relationship so bad that others tease you by withholding it. The jerk does it because it is who he is, a jerk. The nice guy does it because he just does not understand you. The jerk also doesn't understand you but he knows whatever he is doing, seems to work. So why change.

This game worked so well because the monkey in the middle would be teased with something she wanted. She also didn't have a choice to play the game. She was stuck playing until the others tired and gave up what was hers. And guess who it usually was? The Nice Guy.

By now I hope you're wondering about this whole trash thing. Where is this trash and how can it give me more choices in men? Well...it does not exist. I merely teased you with wanting something, like the answer to this article. And I'm not giving it you. Truthfully, what do you feel is the trash? What is one thing you can get rid of, or take out of the game, that makes it stop? Yes it is the relationship. When you constantly need or want to be in a relationship it often becomes the "keep away" item for you. When you take control of your dating life and avoid the dependency on security, no one can control you like the monkey in the middle.

I firmly believe in relationships and commitment but that is different from relying on them, and I don't. I learned it the hard way, but I learned it. You can too. Remove the trash and the excess baggage off your shoulders and don't allow men to control you through it. When you find yourself in the middle, playing that game, you have two choices. The nice guy or the jerk. When you refuse to play there are lots of men who won't play that game either. They are the ones that recognize your strength and want that challenge in their lives. They're the ones that want you to enhance their lives, and not fill it. They are also the men that should enhance your life, and not fill it with trash.