If a Spouse Has Cheated Do You Get a Free Pass to Cheat on Your Significant Other?

If a spouse or significant other cheats does that give you a free pass? When your spouse cheats it is one of the most devastating painful things that one can experience. The first thing that the betrayed partner wants to do is to get even. That is only human nature. You hurt me. I am going to hurt you back. Is it the right thing to do?

When a spouse cheats, it is many times because they are angry with the other spouse. If that is the case it is important to seek counseling. It is important to seek counseling anyway. If the reason he or she cheated was because of unresolved anger issues sometimes that can be worked through in therapy.

Another reason a spouse or significant other may cheat is because he or she may have low self-esteem and are seeking someone else to build up their self-esteem. They feel that if someone else wants them then they are desirable. It works in reverse and makes them feel bad about themselves for lowering themselves to that level.

Serial cheaters are pretty much hopeless. Your best bet is to get out of the relationship. You will never trust them and they have deeper issues than you can usually deal with. Intense and long-term therapy is needed for a serial cheater to get better. They really have to have the desire to quit cheating. You may never be able to trust them again even if they are trying to heal.

Do you deserve to get even with your cheater? Is it okay for you to have an affair to get back at your cheating spouse or significant other? You really need to think this through. What is your motive? Is it to get back at him or her? Is it to bolster your self-esteem? Does two wrongs make a right? How will you feel after you have cheated?

Cheating on your spouse will not make you feel better in the long run. Assuming that you could have worked through the cheating that your spouse did, maybe your spouse will not be able to forgive you.

What do you think it will do for your self-esteem if you do something that is morally wrong? You don't want to lower yourself to that level. You don't want to damage your relationship even further and maybe hurt another person because you want to hurt your spouse. It is very important to think it through from the beginning to the end results.

Don't lose your dignity by behaving in ways that will make you feel bad about yourself. Deal with the cheating spouse. You may not be able to forgive them, but you don't want to have to deal with forgiving yourself for doing something that is morally wrong.