If I Were Your Woman and You Were My Man

I would make home porno movies with you and watch them too!
I would pick up your dirty laundry from the floor and not complain.
I would make love with you every night and ENJOY IT.
I would not go shoe shopping with your hard earned money.
I would cook for you at least 3 times a week.
I would not ask you to hold my purse at the mall as you wait for me to try on clothes.
I would not ask you to go with me to the mall.
I would not care if you went to strip clubs or for a beer with your boys.
I would not lose my mind if you cheated..but you won't be doing any of that anyway :)
I would not gain weight (as if I can afford to put anymore on!) and cut my hair.
I would not want to talk about our feelings every five minutes.
I would not mind if you checked out other women (it's natural dammit!)
I would not get hurt by the fact that you still like to pleasure yourself.
I would love you as long as you treat me like your woman, lover, and friend.