If I Wrote for 24: Suggestions by a Regular Guy to Make the Show More Realistic

Admittedly, I have never watched a single episode of "24". However, according to friends and critics alike, this past season was the weakest of the show's 6-year run. I imagine it must be difficult for writers to top themselves each year with Jack Bauer saving the world from viruses, nuclear bombs, and assassination attempts. I believe the show fails to present the hero as a common man, with everyday thoughts and being placed in more realistic situations.

"24", in case you have been in prison the past few years, features Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer - a member of the L.A. Counter Terrorist Unit. The show is presented in real time, with each hour-long show representing an hour of Jack's day. The season consists of 24 shows - or one day in the life of Jack Bauer as he bails civilization out of yet another catastrophe.

With that in mind, here are a few suggestions which I will now provide the makers of "24, free of charge, to add some much needed levity and allow the series to appeal more to the Average Joe and his clock-punching ilk.

* 3 shows in the next season will have Jack getting his driver's license renewed at the DMV. After surveying the degenerates in the room, he will question why he even bothers to disarm nuclear weapons in order to save these people in the first place.

* An entire season could be when his in-laws drop by to visit for the day and show Jack a slide-show of their recent vacation to Amish Acres.

* During a particularly gripping moment in which Jack is furiously communicating the whereabouts of the terrorists with headquarters, a telemarketer beeps in offering the latest in satellite dish technology.

* One episode in which Jack reads the latest Readers Digest cover to cover while sitting on the toilet - all the while muttering to himself he will never eat Indian food ever again.

* While a Presidential candidate Jack is assigned to protect is delivering a speech, Jack carelessly checks the score of the Dodger game on his Blackberry - allowing the assailants ample time to pump several rounds into the candidate.

* Jack is extremely embarrassed during one episode, when a clerk at the supermarket gives him a strange look as she rings him up for two packages of adult diapers. However, this would explain the plot hole of his character never using the bathroom in the series.

* An entire show will feature Jack and his eccentric friends awaiting a table at a Chinese restaurant. Jack will even bet one of this friends if they will casually walk up to a table and eat an eggroll....wait, I think that was done already!

Hopefully, this brainstorming session will be enlightening to the makers of the show. If they use some of these suggestions - maybe I will finally watch a show!