If You've Never Had a Boyfriend, There's Nothing Wrong with You!
I think that it sucks that society puts things like having had a boyfriend on a timeline. People grow at their own pace in all respects, but especially when it comes to relationships. It's really unfair that girls are made to feel inferior, like something's wrong with them because they are a certain age and have never had a boyfriend. Why should it matter if you are 15, 18 or 24 and have never had a boyfriend? Why should a girl's only priority in life be getting in a relationship, just so she can shake the "never had a boyfriend" stigma?
I saw the urgency of ridding oneself of the no boyfriend label in high school, and see it again as I near college graduation. This time, people are in a rush to get married. It feels like we're back in the 1950s and everyone is off to college for the MRS. Degree. And now I begin to see how it feels for the older single women who have no boyfriend, and how it's that much worse for an adult woman who, for whatever reason, has never had a boyfriend. Already I face questioning from friends and family, asking if there is someone special, or how my love life is going. And I always have to answer that, as usual, I have no love life, I have no boyfriend. And they shake their heads in sympathy as I wonder if they're pitying me or just thinking how pathetic I am that I have no boyfriend, and have not had a boyfriend in years.
But I remember during my time in a relationship that things were not as Disney movie perfect as I had imagined it would be when I finally had a boyfriend. Things were far from perfect, and although I don't wish to go into details, I have to say that I was rather relieved when I was once again single, with no boyfriend. Having no boyfriend was a lot better than a terrible boyfriend.
I know how nauseating it is to hear advice like "good things happen to those who wait" when you have never had a boyfriend, but I have come to learn that it is true. You won't be any happier or feel any better about yourself if you are desperate to be in a relationship to rid yourself of the shame you feel because you never had a boyfriend. If you draw your focus to other parts of your life, you will feel much better about yourself, and find that when you do get in a relationship, it will have been worth the long wait.
Published by S. Gustafson
Stephanie stumbled upon the Yahoo! Contributor Network as a sophomore in college. The accidental discovery led her to an exciting career in freelance writing for the web. With twenty years of experience in... View profile
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5 Comments
Post a CommentThanks for your article. I have passed my mid 20s, and dated numerous men but never had any relationship, the longest dating was a week. There was always sth that doesn't seem right. We are all attractive people, and we have a happy independent life, so we deserve to be with a person who makes us happier. I think there is nothing wrong of being a happy single. For as long as we keep our heart open for people to approach us and finally meet the one. He is not perfect, he is just the person you feel that understand each other very well.
i know how you feel. i have never been in a relationship either, and im 24 this year. i have 4 sisters who all have husbands and kids, all of them met their partners in there late teens. my family is starting to 'worry' about me and some friends have asked me outright if i am a lesbian (i'm not!). it makes me so sad that no one tries to look at it from my point of view, they just judge me. i had a 'friend with benefits' secretly for 6 years, mostly because he wanted it kept secret, then one day i bumped into him in our local town, he was with a friend and made out he didn't recognise me. the one other guy i dated used to make me walk infront of him on the street, i suspect so if he see someone he knew it wouldn't look like he was with me. how can i fight that? men dont even want to be associated with me. im not ugly, i am intelligent with a gsoh, but men just want one thing and when they don't get it they disappear. i suppose the one thing we can take solace in is that we are not alone
I echo your sentiments. Not having a boyfriend is definitely not the worst thing in the world. I'm in my mid-20s and I've never been in a real relationship. I don't suspect I ever will, but strangely I don't feel that sense of torschlusspanik felt by many girls my age and older to have a boyfriend and eventually get married.
exactly. I love your sentiment. I do have a boyfriend now, but I still hate the way single women are stigmatized as "spinsters" or worse, sluts.
I know exactly how you feel.I never had a boyfriend,either.I'm an adult and never had a love relationship with a man.I cannot seem to find anybody with the same interests as me or close to that.I live in a small town and there is not that many single people.I don't want to get married and I don't want a family.I prefer staying single but,sometimes I would like to find a soul mate and that's all.I had people look at me in a pathetic way or a disappointed look.I find that quite annoying.I think,really it's none of anybody's business but,my own.It's my life and only I can do the things I want too.Not because what other people think is best for me. Society is odd when they treat a single woman with disrespect just because they never had a boyfriend,never married or never had a family.Everyone has the right to choose what kind of life they want to live without other people interfering.