I'm Innocent: An Explanation of Why I'm a Flawed Human Being, and Why It's Not My Fault

As much as I hate to admit it, I am only human. It's not much of a ground shaking revelation. Because of this, I make mistakes. Though unlike most, I am able to keep the large flubs to an absolute minimum.

Research has shown that my most notable flaws and the unsightly side of my personality are attributed by my environment. In layman's terms: I've been corrupt by the world around me. Allow me to explain in the following paragraphs.

I'm a flawed human being because: 8-Bit noise pollution.

I listen to music on my Sansa E260 with the volume cranked all the way up. When I was a kid, Nintendo had an advertisement campaign that said "Play it loud!" I was young and very impressionable, what did you expect to happen?

They were once THE name in Video games. People would ask "are you playing Nintendo?" if they were not sure what game or console you were on. This ad showed lack of responsibility, and utter disregard for the health of peoples eardrums, or anyone else who can hear music glaring.

I'm a flawed human being because: Sailors on 'roid rage.

I'm known for throwing things at people from time to time(allegedly). Popeye The Sailor used to have his friends toss a can of spinach when he was in need. I grew up with the notion of this being a normal thing for people to do.

Seeing as no body really eats that stuff, I used to throw pencils, Tonka Trucks, corn on the cob and everything else I could lift toward friends in need. Not my fault they neglected to catch those objects. You'd think they would learn after the first black eye.

I'm a flawed human being because: female's fashion sense.

Like any other hot blooded male, I like to stare at a woman's cleavage. As it turns out, it's not really something that should be considered a problem. Especially since most females bring the ogling upon themselves.

If you don't want your sweater puppies to be the center of attention, maybe you should refrain from wearing tight shirts with words on them or low cut blouses. I'm not trying to be a dog. By eyeballing your chest, I'm attempting to read the phrase placed atop boob mountain. Stop jiggling and I might not have to stare so long.

There you have it, cold hard fact!. I promise that I will at least make an attempt to fix my other flaws(all five of them)as an resolution for 2009. As it stands, most of the issues listed cannot be changed. I stopped throwing random food items long ago. But, my affinity for loud music, and unyielding love for tata's are still intact. Got a problem with it? I'm not the one to get made at.