I'm Not that Kind of Princess

When a giant ogre kidnapped her, she hit him over the head with the book she was carrying and left him crying for his mama ogre.

When an evil sorcerer tried to zap her with a magic potion that would make her sleep for a hundred years, she grabbed a mirror, turned it on him, and left him sleeping like a baby.

It made her parents so angry!

"How are you ever going to meet a prince if you keep rescuing yourself?" asked her father.

"The next time something happens, just sit there, look pretty, and act like a princess," said her mother.

"Maybe I'm not that kind of princess," said Geraldine.

But her parents nagged and nagged and nagged and nagged until finally Geraldine gave in. She walked up to the first dragon she saw and said, "Excuse me, would you mind locking me in a tower and guarding me day and night?"

The dragon agreed. Geraldine sat down in her tower and waited for a prince to come.

Before long, she realized her mistake. She had chosen the fiercest dragon in the entire kingdom. Though many knights came and tried to rescue her, the dragon sent them all away, slightly burnt and crying for their mothers. Geraldine began to wonder if she would ever be rescued.

And then one day, a knight approached her tower. The dragon sucked in his breath and prepared to blow fire. But before he let it out, the knight ran behind the dragon, up its back, through its legs, to the left, to the right and around twice in a circle.

Geraldine looked down and saw that the dragon had tied itself into a knot. It was stuck! The knight climbed the tower and jumped inside the tiny window.

Geraldine was about to say thank you when the knight took off her helmet. Geraldine gasped in surprise. The knight was a beautiful princess.

"You're a princess!" exclaimed Geraldine. "I didn't know princesses could be knights!"

"Oh, I'm not that kind of princess," said the knight.

From that day forth, Geraldine decided she would be her own kind of princess. She traveled the countryside on horseback, rescuing people from dragons, ogres, witches, giants, and all sorts of bad things.

One day, after defeating a particularly nasty two headed monster, Geraldine entered his cave to look for survivors. In a back corner, she found a frightened, but handsome young prince. He was surprised and overjoyed to see her.

"You're a princess!" he cried.

"I'm not that kind of princess," said Geraldine.

"Good," he said. "I've been looking for someone like you to rule my kingdom with me. Will you marry me?"

"That depends," said Geraldine, "Are you going to expect me to sit around all day while you ride around the country having all sorts of adventures?"

"Oh, I'm not that kind of prince," said the prince. "I'd want you to come with me."

"Then yes," said Geraldine.

And they lived happily ever after.