I'm Not One to Gossip!

How often do you hear others complain about another employee in the office? Complaints about people when they are not present equates to gossip. How often have you caught yourself doing the same thing? Any discussion with another person in a negative way is considered gossip. Some people are worse at doing this than others. Gossip can quickly ruin friendships and business relationships.

There's always the notorious co-worker who tells on you. How about those people that go to your boss and insinuate that you're not doing your job correctly, timely or not at all. For some, these complaints may be valid but it can be very frustrating when you consider there are always two sides to a story. Numerous people choose to listen to only one side. Look deep inside yourself to see if you are one of these people or if you contribute to their behavior.

Fueling the fire

Others try to fit in by participating in discussions that are negative. It is probable, you either speak these negative words or fuel the fire. Everyone has been in this situation on more than one occasion. No matter what you think, others don't want to hear you complain 24/7. This reflects bad on you and the person you're talking to. Others see or hear you converse in this manner so be aware no matter how discreet you are, your participation is recognized. Constant negative discussions will bring a person down and make them dread being around you. Most people enjoy being around others that are positive.

Change yourself and others

If you change your ways, others will acknowledge it and also change. I recall a time when I was complaining to a co-worker about my boss. They agreed but instead of fueling my complaints, they said "What can you do?" and shrugged their shoulders. This person did not agree or disagree with what I was saying but their comment and body language ended the conversation. This was their way of saying I was gossiping and they didn't want to have a part in it. I immediately realized what I doing and stopped complaining and changed the subject.

I'm certain you are guilty of this from time to time so let's stop the cycle. Next time you find yourself on the verge of saying something negative about anyone, stop yourself. Make it a point to not say anything at all. If someone begins to gossip, be the better person and tell them you prefer not to talk about anyone if they are not present. That should stop them immediately. Another approach is to explain that you are trying your best to do the right thing and you know your participation in office gossip does not fall in that category. Ask the person to change the subject. Sometimes you have to be bold and make your wishes clear or the other party will never stop.

Be careful initiating these types of conversations or participating in them. It does reflect bad on you as a person and could hinder your job performance. These practices should also be utilized in your personal life. Stay strong and positive. Constantly be aware of your words and actions and you'll be the person that everyone looks up to.