I'm Offended that You're Offended!
1. No more open-toed shoes, no flip-flops, and no sandals, even during the hottest days of summer. Feet are disgusting. Feet are offensive, and really sweaty feet are just as much of a biohazard as breast milk, so it's best to keep them under wraps. White canvas tennis sneakers only. Birkenstock will just have to file for bankruptcy.
2. To support my cause, it would be prudent for me to borrow slogans from the pro-choice movement. "Don't like abortion, don't have one!" Don't like nursing in public, don't nurse your baby in public. This should be easily avoidable if you're male or past menopause. Oh wait, breastfeeding was banned, remember? Ok, that just means my list of everything else that also has to be banned isn't finished yet.
3. Short sleeves. How hideous! Who really wants to look at hairy forearms all spring and summer? Three quarter length sleeves are the shortest appropriate length for public places even when the humidity is at a record high. If you enjoy wearing short sleeves in the warm weather, stay at home! You shouldn't be baring your forearms for the world to see when you can just as easily never leave your house.
4. Shorts. Does this banned category really need further elaboration? C'mon, does anyone really like looking at legs? Yuck. Why should I be forced to look at the legs of someone who has an obsession with Doritos and hasn't felt it necessary to go to the gym in a decade? Why should I have to look at the legs of someone who thinks it's possible to be "big and fit" at the same time? Why should I have to look at cellulite? Cellulite IS offensive, and it's even blinding. I have a right to healthy 20/20 vision, don't I?
As you can see, banning breastfeeding in public was the best thing society could have ever done. No more Puritans offended by nursing mothers and the rest of us won't have to be offended by ugly feet, bare legs, and hairy arms. Perfect compromise, don't you think?
Published by S.V.
Sharon has been a freelance writer and editor for the past three years. View profile
- Breastfeeding in PublicBreastfeeding in public can be a controversial subject. Most mothers won't even discuss the subject between themselves. This article takes an in depth look at the prejudices facing mothers who choose to breastfeed in...
- Breastfeeding in Public: Taboo or Fundamental?Why is it taboo to breastfeed in public? And how can we make it more widely accepted?
- Breastfeeding in PublicThis article is about a woman's right to breastfeed in public places.
- Nursing in Public: the Non-Sexual BreastWhy is is that our society has such an aversion to a woman nursing her child in public?
Why I Breastfeed in PublicMany new mothers are nervous at the idea of nursing in public, but the other option is often nursing in a public restroom. A mother shares her experience nursing in public.
- Nursing in Public is Not Offensive: One Mother's Perspective
- Breastfeeding in Public
- A Highlight of Why Breastfeeding in Public is So Important
- Legislation Proposed to Protect a Woman's Right to Breastfeed in Public
- Breastfeeding in Public: Think of My Breasts as Tupperware
- My Opinion on Breastfeeding in Public
- Seven Tips for Breastfeeding in Public Confidently
27 Comments
Post a CommentI posted a vulgar comment a while ago that wasn't called for but was very true. So I wanted to apologize for the language I used but not for the idea I was trying to convey.
And I agree there is no reason to feel embarrassed to discuss such issues with a child. That is likely one of the reasons many moms opt for formula. They've never seen anyone nurse, and they don't know that it is, in fact, normal. If an individual can't discuss breastfeeding, good luck discussing sex. I really thought we evolved beyond such Puritanical nonsense.
Thanks for your comment Paisley. This is really a sad issue because there are some moms who avoid/quit breastfeeding due to being uncomfortable nursing in public, and unless you're a total recluse, it's eventually unavoidable. Babies' rights come first before the comfort of others, especially adults who should know better. Nursing a baby in public should be no more offensive than an adult eating in public. Half seriously, shouldn't all eating in public be viewed as indecent, since it's difficult to see someone eating without thinking of the eventual function of excretion, lol.
I gave a private and now will give a public applaud for this article! Contrary to Dim's view, women do not just whip out a boob to breastfeed their babies. There is also no reason to feel shame in explaining such a natural process to a child. I carried my child in a babysling and covered my shoulder with a shawl. I also had nursing shirts with flaps that opened in addition to bras with snaps that allowed for easy access to nurse wherever I was at and I didn't care if it happened to be at McDonald's Playland! BF'ing is an important addition to a child's life on so many levels but most the most important reasons are the mother/child bond and the antibodies in breast milk.
Obviously, I was mostly joking about banning the other things mentioned :) But I just think there is a double standard. If an overweight, pasty-white, middle-aged mother breastfeeds her baby in public, many people are disgusted. Would those same people be disgusted if, say, they saw Pamela Anderson breastfeeding her baby in public? I really think that when people insist breastfeeding in public should be illegal/banned, they really are referring to banning it for those people who look undesirable and don't fit our narrowly-defined criteria for beauty. Would anyone be up in arms if Teri Hatcher or Eva Longoria nursed in public?
Nursing in public comes no where close to being the same as urinating in public, which is the rallying cry of breastfeeding opponents. Unless a nursing mother never leaves her house, nursing in public is unavoidable at some point eventually. And if nursing moms are as indecent as you suggest why is it that the majority of time people thought my daughter was sleeping, not nursing. This is true for MANY nursing moms.
Loved your article. As a nursing mom, I refused to be relegated to another room, or worse in a public rest room.
OH, and women holding jobs and voting might offend Muslim immigrants, chauvinists, and other groups so we'll have to ban that too. Especially if they are working or voting in public.
We ALSO have to ban kissing in public, gays holding hands in public, low-cut T-shirts, bikinis, short hair cuts on women, women wearing pants, expressing opinions other than the majority view... because all of that might offend someone, and as Americans, we have the right to NOT ever be offended and to control everyone's behavior around us so we never have to feel uncomfortable. It's not unreasonable! It should be the law.
Oh-haha, when I wrote that I didn't see that Shari had already said the thing about the thongs... well, I second it!