Imaginary Concept Cars Named After Animals

Have you ever wondered how the big vehicle manufacturing executives come up with the names of cars? When you think of popular models it's easy to see why companies like Dodge call their trucks Rams (for the sheer strength), or why the Jaguar's sleek design was based on the svelte animal physique it's named after. The constant seeker of useless fodder, I began thinking about other animals which haven't yet been selected to represent popular automobiles, and I came up with this imaginary list...

Nissan Tarantula

This quiet, sporty vehicle is for the multi-tasker. With ports for every electronic device known to man, the Nissan Tarantula makes it possible to shave, send emails, keep coffee warm, talk on the phone, play Guitar Hero, and parallel park---hands free!!

VW Panda

You've seen the cute little VW beetle (also known as the VW Bug.) While the kitschiness of this car has not lost its popularity, the VW manufacturers knew they had to come out with something equally cute for the next generation of drivers. Enter the stage, the VW Panda. Just in time to capitalize off of the "Kung Fu Panda" craze, you'll never fail to spot these distinctively colored vehicles. With headlights rimmed in huge black circles (like eyes), Panda-like markings on its white exterior, and bubbly compact shape, the VW Panda is loads of fun to look at---but does nothing extraordinary.

Toyota Shark

Introducing the first ever sports-commuter vehicle. You can expect to achieve multiple miles per gallon in this gas-saving, single passenger automobile. With an incredibly sleek design (fashioned after the tiger shark), this car has one multi-beam headlight and mini docking stations for Blue-Tooth and iPods. With its penchant for handling tight corners and tight places, you'll never worry about locating adequate parking for this tiny automobile. Since there is no trunk, and no rear seating, all storage is nestled securely in the "belly" of the car, underneath the driver's cockpit.

Pontiac Cheetah

Not to be outdone by the other lightning-fast animals coming off the assembly line is the Pontiac Cheetah. The Pontiac's husky-sounding engine will roar when the Cheetah picks up its pace on interstates across the country. Boasting a sleek coupe design to rival the now-defunct Pontiac Grand Am, this is the car for those who like to pretend that they're driving a really expensive muscle car.

Honda Lion

Beware the minivan of all minivans. The Honda Lion is fierce in its ability to protect its passengers. Favored by soccer Moms across America, this minivan possesses three built in kiddie-seats, an automatic Amber Alert system, 6 built-in sippy cups, OnStar Comcast-OnDemand cable access for its on-board media players, and comes with 22 standard air bags that are conveniently filled with Jiffy Pop popcorn.

Suzuki Ferret

PETA members and holistic, granola-eating, peace-loving eco-activists will love the newest line in the Suzuki family. The Ferret, a slim mini-crossover hybrid vehicle boasts at least 52 miles per gallon. This is because of its sleek "ferret-like" design and its penchant for turning its own engine off when idling for longer than 30 seconds.

Chrysler Owl

This is Chrysler's first ever super-deluxe hybrid sport minivan. With all the requisite safety features that Chrysler is known for, this line of vehicles combines all the power of a sports car into a minivan, capable of using only a fraction of the gasoline other automobiles this size would use. And due to an acquisition of Starbuck's coffeehouses, car manufacturers have now discovered a way to create fuel from the espresso coffee bean. Equipped with night-vision windshields, a state-of-the-art GPS navigation system, and five individual media centers, the Chrysler Owl can do just about everything short of repairing the national deficit.

Kia Fox

Not to be outdone in the style department is Kia. Trailing behind the major players on the market, executives decided that they needed a vehicle to attract the demographic of people who are drawn to high-end performance vehicles. This is the car that picks up right where the Kia Amanti leaves off. The Kia Fox represents the first convertible performance vehicle from a "less competitive" line of cars. The Fox is sly in its design-sporty and extravagant in its outer appearance, with an all but bare interior. By the time you've finished adding air-conditioning, a standard CD player, coat hangers, rear brakes, and a spare tire, you've tacked on an extra $11,387.22 onto the total price.

Mitsubishi Lemur

The understated Mitsubishi vehicles often take a backseat (no pun intended) to other car makers like Honda and Nissan. But the Mitsubishi Lemur just may capture the attention of many. Claiming to be the best vehicle for night-driving, these cars have a highly sophisticated headlight system. Large reflective beams(like lemur eyes) emit cool, yet effective illumination during the evening, and also in heavy storms. A clever partnership with Lenscrafters allows all the cars to have Day-to-Night tinting on all of its windows.

Ford Buffalo

Only those who harbor no hard feelings over today's exorbitant gas prices will be attracted to this monster of a vehicle. The Ford Buffalo is the first super-sized SUV/Pick-Up truck ever manufactured---approximately 1 ½ times larger than the Ford Excursion, with an extended bed in the rear for hauling practically anything not nailed down. The Buffalo is a hearty vehicle for those who either have lots of friends, or an addiction to shopping at CostCo. It should be noted that this vehicle gets only 1.3 miles to the gallon.