Impeach Cristopher Dodd for Stupidity

Senator Chris Dodd (Doofus-CT) has admitted that he added language to the Great Odumba Stimulus Bill and Revelation from God, which was enacted last month and signed into law in a special ceremony at the foot of Mount Sinai, which specifically allowed all bonuses that bailed-out companies were obligated to pay by contracts that were in force on or before February 11, 2009.

As late as yesterday afternoon, Sen. Dodd was denying to Fox News that he added the exemption.

"When the language went to the conference and came back, there was different language," he bragged then. "I can tell you this much, when my language left the Senate, it did not include it. When it came back, it did."

Dodd is now whining that "unnamed Treasury" officials "forced" the Senate to make the change.

"As many know, the administration was, among others, not happy with the language. They wanted some modifications to it," Dodd claims. "They came to us, our staff, and asked for changes, and the changes at the time did not seem that obnoxious or onerous."

When asked since when have administration officials held such power over members of Congress, Dodd stammered "The administration has veto power. Now, no one suggested a veto to me, I don't want to imply that. But certainly that's not an insignificant tool."

This, from the bold, daring Champion of the Little Man, Christopher Dodd: the man who was running from sound bite and photo op to sound bite and photo op all weekend long, threatening to immediately write a new provision of the tax law to confiscate the AIG bonuses and impressing everyone his limitless congressional powers.

And now we find out that it was the great Chris Dodd who really created the very "crisis" that he was ranting against and promising to set right; so the sun could once again shine and the birds would sing.

Let me see if I have this right, Senator.

The Odumba administration wants its economic stimulus package passed quickly to save the nation from "the greatest financial crisis since the Great Depression." Then, at the last minute, the administration changes its mind about paying bonuses to the very people that it claims are, in largest part, responsible for the just-mentioned financial crisis Even though the Senate has enough votes to override a veto by God, it quickly cowers down and inserts the very language that that everyone is suddenly ready to condemn. You claim it was the Odumba administration's fault because they forced the changes in the original legislation but you spent a weekend strutting all over the national news, trying to look important?

Senator, when someone starts a fire in order to make himself look like a hero that person is still an arsonist whether the fire burns a hole in the carpet or an entire town!

Let us now, gentle reader and member of the jury in the High Court of Public Opinion, debate the evidence provided by the defendant's own words.

Senator Dodd would have you believe that certain unnamed members of the Odumba administration intimidated the Senate into rewriting a part of the Great Economic Enema Plan in order to benefit the same unscrupulous men that were responsible for the Great Meltdown. But this is also the same Senator Dodd who emphatically, and publicly, denied knowledge of, and involvement in, such a dastardly and morally-reprehensible act. And yet, by way of his voluntary confession in open court, we learn that he has lied to you and the rest of the American public, that he was intimately involved in this alleged cowardly plot!

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the facts speak for themselves. Christopher Dodd is guilty of perjuring himself in the national media. And of the Secretary of the Treasury, Timothy Geithner? Guilty as charged, if nothing else than of the high crime of making his predecessor in that office, Hank Paulson, seem a genius in comparison. And what shall we make of the Dear Leader himself? Did he not express outrage at the terms of the law that allowed the "banditry" at AIG? Yet, based on the evidence presented before you he either knew his own complaints were merely theatrics or that he sent his minions, Geithner and Dodd, forth to work this abomination of the law to their mutual benefit.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury in the High Court of Public Opinion, I say of the defendant in this case that he be given but one chance to perform a public act of repentance by resigning his high office and position of public trust , and failing that, he shall be first stripped of all offices and positions, and that second he be excommunicated from the Holy Church of the Perpetual Entitlement and Government Subsidy and third, that if he be a priest of the Church, he shall be defrocked and fourth, that he shall be anathema and that he be excommunicated from the Holy Church of the Perpetual Entitlement and Government Subsidy and thus shall his immortal soul be placed in danger of the Fires of Hell and the Fires of Perpetual Banishment into the Realm of Dick Cheney.