Implement the "Michael Vick Rule": Execute Game's Worst Player

In light of events surrounding NFL quarterback Michael Vick, I have an idea for a new NFL rule. I call it the "Michael Vick Rule," and it works like this: At the end of an NFL game, a team owner can select a player who, in his opinion, failed to perform as well as he should have. The team owner, along with the coaching staff, will then schedule that player's execution. Methods of execution might include hanging him from the goal post, wetting him down and electrocuting him using power from the stadium lights (particularly effective after dark), or possibly dropping him to the ground from the press box or even a blimp.

There are several benefits to be gained by implementing this new rule. It would give players a great deal of incentive to play well. After all, money and perks aren't everything. Only players willing to give more than a 100% effort in every single game would even try out for the teams, resulting in more efficient teams and more exciting games. Coaches would have fewer problems paring down their teams to the required team strength during the pre-season, thus making their job a little easier.

Team owners will benefit by having an effective new tool for motivating their players. In addition, by holding the executions as a separate event, they can generate additional income by selling tickets to interested fans. Since the executions will almost certainly appeal to a different type of audience than those who attend their regular games, they will increase their team's fan base.

Bookmakers and gamblers would have a field day making bets on what players will survive any given game. Millions of dollars will potentially change hands every Sunday, Monday, and Thursday, boosting the general economy.

Television networks, which are always seeking new ideas for their reality programs, would jump right in with offers to both leagues and players for the rights to cover executions. Their creative writers and producers would have a new arena in which to produce novel ideas for executions and presentations of biographies of players, the hows and the whys of their downfall.

Other sports franchises might well consider adopting their versions of this same rule. Struggling franchises, in particular, might find a way to be more profitable. And sports suffering from lack of attendance would likely benefit from increased attendance as fans gather to see who will falter. Soccer leagues, quoit and lacrosse teams, and even professional tennis associations may see benefits from adopting a version of this rule. Professional wrestling is a particularly good candidate for adoption of the "Michael Vick Rule" since their fan base is already inured to violence.

It seems that this proposed new rule will benefit nearly everyone. And it certainly fits in well with Michael Vick's sports philosophy. That's why I proposed that this rule be named the "Michael Vick Rule." Given myriad benefits of this new rule, and the fact that Michael Vick and his friends have demonstrated its application and effectiveness, I am sure the owners will be able to implement it in time for the Superbowl.

Way to go, Michael Vick! You may well have changed the game of football forever, and if the "Michael Vick Rule" is implemented, you will certainly have earned the fame you so richly deserve.