In Defense of Bad Movies

I enjoy bad movies. I'm not talking about movies that get one thumb up or two out of five stars. I'm talking about movies that are blatantly terrible. Movies where you can see the camerapeople. Movies where you can tell that the blood's not real and that the majority of the film was shot in someone's basement. Movies where the actors are wooden and where the script is unwieldy and inconsistent. Movies that never should have been made.

Films such as these get a bad rap, understandably. Many are straight-to-DVD releases, as there would be no way for these movies to make a profit if released in theaters. And these are low-budget films, so that's not saying much. But what does that matter? What does it matter if the special effects are bad or not present? What does it matter if the lighting is bad or the film quality is close to that of a home movie?

Bad movies have a great advantage over "serious" films in that no one has any expectations going into a bad movie. People expect for a campy romp. Typically, the only source of disappointment is either that the film is too long or not bad enough. Everyone is guaranteed to have a good time during these films, because a great deal of the entertainment stems from making fun of the sets, berating the characters, and other assorted mockery of the film. Think Mystery Science Theater 3000, except you'll be in charge. Any movie can be a masterpiece, even with "mute" on.

What makes a great film? Too many movies nowadays are considered good because people don't understand them and it's easier to say that one liked an incomprehensible, pointless movie than to say that it was utterly horrible. Yes, of course it was "unique" and "artsy." I prefer to call it a "boring, pretentious waste of time." And these movies aren't even entertainingly bad.

Sure, you won't be able to discuss the artistic merits of bad films with the majority of people that you meet. Nor will these movies drastically change your perspectives on life or the world at large. But if you're looking for a way to kill a couple hours with friends on a weekend night, it's hard to go wrong with a bad movie. And I mean a bad movie.