In-Depth Series on Internet Panhandling

A few years ago, when my children were small, we encountered a panhandler at one of our local grocery stores. He told me he was hungry and he wanted some money for something to eat. I ignored the man, averted my eyes and walked away. My son, in the store, nearly in tears, asked me, "Why did you not answer him?"

I sighed deeply, knowing I owed my son an explanation, but not sure how I could instill a lesson in him to be charitable but not be gullible. I looked at his eager young face, waiting expectantly for an answer as to why mama was so mean, and I had an idea.

What is a Panhandler?

I'll tell you about my idea in a moment, but first, I want to talk to you about my personal experience with a panhandler. First, a panhandler is a person who usually approaches you on the street, a street corner or entrance to a store and asks for money. Usually, but not always, they will be poorly or dirtily dressed, with some sad story to tell or carrying cards saying they are deaf and/or mute and God bless you and such. Sometimes the signs say, "Will Work for Food", but my experience has been most won't accept honest work if they are offered it. (Not saying this is true for all.)

My First Panhandler Experience

When I first encountered a panhandler, it was a man selling pencils. They were generic yellow pencils, but his card said he was a deaf mute and he didn't believe in charity, so he was selling pencils so he could eat. He would take any price I was willing to pay for pencils, because he was hungry... anything I could spare.

I was 18, naïve, and generous. I gave the man $5.00. I was a single mom and it was all I could afford. It was a lot of money to me back then. I went into the store, bought my items and left, walking over to the Laundromat next door to finish washing clothes. I watched through the window while the man who was a deaf mute stuffed the card in his pocket and took my $5 (which I could ill afford at that time) and went inside the store to buy a 44oz. bottle of malt liquor and a cheap pack of cigarettes. (Things were cheaper back in the '80s.) Later, this deaf mute went around the corner of the store and I watched him talking to another panhandler. I figured they were tag teaming.

A True Panhandler Story

I learned my lesson the hard way. People don't always tell the truth, and there are some people who will say or do anything to turn a buck. A few years later, a friend of mine talked to me about her boss, a man who made well over 100k per year, and on Saturdays, he would, for fun, dress up in grunge clothing and panhandle on busy street corners. According to him, he could make over 2k in a few hours on a busy city street (this was in Dallas). He said Sunday mornings were the best, because people often felt charitable on the way to and from church.

Charity Versus Panhandling Handouts

Now don't get me wrong. I'm all for charity when charity is due, such as donating to your local church, food shelter, or homeless shelter, but I will never again give someone on the street panhandling any money.

I couldn't tell this to my son though. He wouldn't learn the lesson from me that way. So instead of telling him, I decided to show him. I went about my shopping and while doing so, I picked out certain items that a person who was truly hungry and homeless could eat and should appreciate, such as ham, cheese slices, bread, fruit cups and potato chips. I even broke open the 12-pack of sodas and threw a few cans into a separate bag. On the way out the door, I handed the bag to the man.

He thanked me. He said, "God bless you, lady." We went about our business. I drove to the 7-11 on the corner and parked there beside the building while I watched the man rummage through the bag, then leave it sitting on the table part of the coin operated phone booth and walk away. He walked behind the store and got into a decent older model car with two other men and drove away, leaving the food behind.

"See?" I asked my son. "He wasn't really hungry."

My son couldn't contain his tears this time when he looked up at me with his innocent little face and said, "That's lying, mama. That's mean and it's wrong."

Out of the mouths of babes.

Internet Panhandling

Lying to people in order to get money is mean, and it is wrong. Yet today, the incident of panhandling has increased, and it's getting meaner and uglier. The newest trend in panhandling: internet panhandling.

The Sick Child Scam

From my experience, this one is the most common and horrible form of internet panhandling there is. Usually it's a mother, often a single mother or if not, a married Christian couple, who have a (usually young) child who is terminally or gravely ill. They didn't have insurance, wife can't work because she needs to take care of the kids, and the husband's job just isn't cutting it. Medical bills are through the roof, and normal household expenses are weighing down on this poor family.

The reason this internet panhandling scam works so well is that it pulls at our heartstrings - There but for the Grace of God go I. In other words, so many of us have children who are healthy and we are so thankful and grateful for that fact and the miracle they bring to our lives that thinking of one of them being deathly ill just hits us hard in the gut.

The Sick Mother Scam

Again, a twist on the sick child internet panhandling scam is the sick mother internet panhandling scam. As with the child scam, the mother is usually single or it's a small Christian family who is clinging tightly to their faith.

Please note I'm not disparaging Christians here at all. The reason these scam artists use the Christian faith is because it lends an air of truth to it. A real, honest, decent Christian would never think of scamming someone, so this loving Christian family must be telling the truth!

Other Scams

The sick mother and sick child internet panhandling scam are the most common. However, it's important to note that people are catching on and that the scam artists (and I use that word loosely) are well aware of this. It seems the more outrageous and unusual the story now, the better. A common one is a father whose rights to his kids have been terminated by a bitter ex wife and he is fighting to try to gain custody of his children back from her or just to see his kids. Boy does this one pull at some heartstrings.

Others are somewhat less innocuous, with people stating they can't pay their electric bill and their kids will go without electricity or will get taken away. Some say they can't make the car payment so they won't have a car to go to work and will lose their job, lose their house, lose their... well, the point is, it's always something and that something snowballs into much bigger things if it's not taken care of. Often, you turn around next week, and the same thing is going on again.

Internet Panhandling Scams Connected

What all these internet panhandling scams have in common is this: the truth. That's what makes them so effective. You see, there ARE real families out there suffering and struggling with finances, medical bills and emotional upheavals of dealing with the illness or death of a loved one, a small child, a single mother, etc. Because we know these stories are true sometimes, we give our prayers, our time, our money and our hearts to these people who are hurting -- sometimes only to discover they aren't really hurting at all.

In the next articles I will write on this topic, I'll be talking about some recent internet panhandling scams and how people on the internet managed to get roped into them. I'll also discuss the reality of internet panhandling and I'll also discuss ways to discern the truth from the lies. I am not saying every person who gives a story about adversity is a panhandler or lair. In fact, a lot of stories about things like this are very uplifting and encouraging when you see the strength of another fellow human being and can share your love and prayers with them. But there is a line where it crosses over from real to scam. I'll also give you tips on how to give of your time and/or your money in a way that will help, without worrying if you're being taken advantage of by an internet panhandler.

I'll come update this article with the links to the others when they publish. I hope you'll keep your eyes open for them as well as watching for signs of internet panhandling in the future.

Part two:
In-Depth Series on Internet Panhandling: The Beccah Beushausen Sick Baby Internet Scam