In High School and Pregnant: A Personal Account

I was attending high school when I found out that I was pregnant. I thought this could not be me! My boyfriend and I had always used protection. I could not believe that it was me, an above average student, faithful to attending church and being involved in church activities and also babysitting on a daily basis could ever become pregnant at sixteen. I began to think it's the end of my life. It took a long time to overcome that thought. My friend convinced me that I should take a pregnancy test. After the test, I knew my life would be changed forever. My parents were not happy at all when I finally broke down and told them. My father left for forty-eight hours to go gambling. My mother just sat and cried for several days. At the time, I thought my son's father would always be there to support me through everything. I found out later that it was totally untrue. Although, he was with me until our son turned one. He stayed involved for the most part until he was two. By the time he was three, he became a "convenience" father. This again made me think that I would not survive. He made my life a living hell for several years after we finally broke up around the time that my son turned one. He took me to court at least twice for dumb reasons. He would always wait until a new semester of college had started to file a petition in court. He told the court that I refused him visitation with his son, when in fact, he saw his son the day before the petition was filed. He also tried to have his fifty dollars a month support reduced, which was only a waste of my time and his. Fifty dollars a month for a child does not last long. Even though I have had several barriers in my way to finishing my degree, I did not allow it to stop me. It did take longer than it should have, but I have done it and am on my way to completing my teaching certification.

I would not have made it as far as I have if it wasn't for my supportive parents and friends. They helped me finish my senior year of high school. And allowed me to attend most of my senior year activities. Although, there were some restrictions. I had to pay for a sitter to attend the senior prom. My parents refused to babysit him if I wanted to go out with my friends. I either had to take him with me or skip going with my friends. This is when I learned about "before baby friends" and "after baby friends". Many teenagers do not want to have to wait around for someone to pack everything that is needed to take a baby along on a what used to be a quick trip to the mall. "Before baby friends" tend to disappear because they do not want to deal with having a baby being dragged along. They also get tired of calling and being refused because I did not want to take my son along. I quit going with my friends on trips to the mall because the looks from other people became really annoying and having guys come up to you assuming that you are "easy" because you have a baby, gets real old quick. I was not one who cared much about what people thought, but they always seem to assume that you are a tramp because you are young and have a baby. I hated hearing the comments under someone's breath about how I must have been "easy" to have a child at such a young age. I quit going out to any place, but Walmart until I met my current significant other.

I met a man who is truly in love with our "pre-made" family. He has become more than a step father to my son and goes beyond the normal expectations of a man dating a woman who has a child from a previous relationship. He has attended almost every important event in my son's life. He has supported me through college and tough times of dealing with my son, who is severe ADHD. I don't think I could have made it this far without my parents or him. It may have taken me longer to finish college than if I did not have a child, but I know to provide my son with the comfort of having everything that I did, I must finish.

Even though, I had a child at seventeen and still in high school, I have survived many life trials. I have been able to survive some very stressful times in my life. I have learned that even though I had a child at seventeen, it does not have to stop me from completing my goals in life.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, find inner strength to continue on even if it sets you back or takes you longer to complete your goals!