In Italy - Living at Home Well into Your 30's is Perfectly Normal

Perhaps you've seen the caricature: the cherubic Italian mother encouraging her equally cherubic son to "…eat…eat…!" The son wants to make mom happy so he joyfully shovels in another fork-full of pasta. What we don't know is that the son is in his mid-30's….holds down a job at a bank…and still lives at home - sleeping in the same room he had as a child.

A recent study conducted by the European Union on the living habits of young adults in 25 countries revealed that a whopping 64% of Italians between the ages of 18 and 35 years still live at home with their parents. To put those numbers in perspective, only 12% of the youth in Finland (within those same age limits) and 21% of the youth in Germany continue living at home. Many Italians interviewed during the study cited lack of employment opportunities and the high cost of living as major influences that based their decision. However, quite a few Italians between 18 and 35 (and even older) are just plain content to continue living at home with mom and dad regardless of whether they work or not. And why not? No rent to pay, free meals, a roof over your head. And for those who do work and live under those conditions it's like money in the bank.

It's from this scenario that comes the much-maligned term of "mommoni' or "Mamma's Boy" - Italian children that STILL live at home long after their counterparts in other countries have moved out in search of their own destiny.

According to the Italian Minister of Social Affairs, Giovanna Melandri, the issue of the "mammoni" is a complex one. "…There are certainly lots of young adults who would like to move out from their parent's shadow, but the opportunities are not readily apparent. It's a matter of the (Italian) government investing in opportunities for the new generation…creating avenues for employment and creating opportunities that make it not only attractive to find an apartment but fiscally possible…" (La Republica 6 July)

The dilemma of living at home isn't only one that applies to young Italian males but also young Italian females. Thus, the concept of "mammoni" is one that crosses both genders, and it's a concept that carries over from generation to generation. Adds Melandri, "…consider that many times a sibling continues living at home well into their thirties, and eventually evolves into becoming a house-nurse for his or her aging parents. What's the trade-off? The parents die, the house goes to the child, they finally marry, have children and the entire cycle continues anew…."

That may be the face of the problem, but Melandri is convinced that the root of the issue has to due with Italy's chronic lack of employment opportunities and ever-rising taxes. To that end she has been hard at work with the new Prodi government - trying to generate interest in new business proposals that cater to the young, including rental options and home purchase plans that focus on short and long-term employment contracts.

Informally I did a little local research on my own - talking to persoanl friends and friends of my wife (who is Italian) and her family. Among the college-age young adults I spoke to; living at home was uncomfortable and inconvenient - although more from a social point-of-view. For male and females alike it was a matter of "having to a place to go and spend time time with one's boy or girlfriend. Older un-married individual and even married couples still livivng at home seemed resigned to their fate. Although it seemed like for married couples, living at home was a necessary evil enroute to saving enough money to purchase a house. So many there is something to this research after all.

It may take more than government incentives that to get the mamma's boy out of mamma's house. Maybe it IS a "cultural thing" or maybe it's just a great way of life. And in a world that tends to ignore parents as they get older, the nucleus of the Italian family appears to be holding strong - although maybe for all the wrong reasons.