In a Manner of Speaking

Some of the best commercials are the funny ones. The ones you watch and can't help but laugh at how stupid they are. You see some guy sitting on a bench, eating a burger as "the sky is falling." And he's just smiling away because he has an {insert brand name} hamburger.

But the ones in their own league are the "DO NOT ATTEMPT"s. When I see those words, I get excited not because of the products or commercials themselves, but the people for whom the disclaimer is intended. The people who see those commercials and think, "I bet that would be fun to do."

I live in Alabama, home to college football and stupidity. My neighbors, friends, and family are the kinds of people who know no limits and push at them anyway. A guy in one of my college classes was telling me about how he and his "buds" were helping evict someone from their apartment. While there, they found this box that was locked and couldn't locate a key. Instead of using a crowbar or saw, they got a Desert Eagle and shot at the thing, trying to open it. They spent close to two hours trying this, failing and deciding to use a saw.

I've always wondered what life would be like without stupid people. There would be no lawsuits, no headaches, no high blood pressure, no stress and, most importantly, no guns (no reason to kill stupid people if we don't have any.) Then I had a sudden realization, one more profound than having no stupid people. If there WERE no stupid people, LIFE WOULD BE BORING! Since smart people do stupid things from time to time, life would be tolerable, but not as much fun as it is with stupid people always doing stupid things.

All in all, everyone is entitled to something in life, no matter how much they tend to screw it up. While they do tend to make things harder than they should be, I've noticed stupid people are much nicer than smart people, seeing as they can't see the snickering going on behind their backs as they walk into walls and sliding doors.

Just my opinion.