In Memory of a Friend

Back in the late summer of 1990 I met a woman in recovery in Fernandina Beach, FL where I was working who would later become a dominant force in my life.

Susan Nicks was a champion in AA, helping thousands of women as they forged their way from addiction to a self-sustaining life of independence, a wealth of happiness, and fulfilled journeys from despair to self-esteem on a spiritual walk that was not always easy and often filled with obstacles.

But well worth the trip.

Although we hadn't talked in a few years, my sister Cindy, who also lives in Florida and knew Susan, kept me posted about Susan through the time period since I moved from there to Texas in 1995 and awhile back she sent me a newspaper photo of Susan participating via wheelchair in a parade supporting war veterans. I was quite shocked to see that she had had her leg amputated and the degree to which she had deteriorated physically but I knew she still had her spunk based on the fact that she was participating in such an event.

I can remember in 1990 when I was living in St. Marys, GA and traveling back and forth to Nassau County, FL for work Susan would often invite me to have dinner with she and her friends near Fernandina Beach where we would share many good times, laughter, peace, and recovery talks. Those are some of the memories I would hold near and dear to my heart and times I wish I could get back now.

When I moved back to Jacksonville in my 20s and was living with my then fiancee, she would encourage me to not be afraid, to take steps forward even when I didn't think I could, to try new things, and to try to not let my past keep me down, no matter what my fears told me.

When I think of Susan I think of the words "possibility," "wonder," "curiosity," "miracles," and "perseverance," even during the storms. When I think of her I also think, as silly as it sounds, of a curious rabbit from "Alice in Wonderland" who did not waste time with doom and gloom but was off scurrying to the next journey, the jaunt of the day, an adventure of sorts that sobriety would always bring, with a smile on her face and laughter in her voice.

Those were in the happy days when I first met Susan, years before her health took a turn for the worse, a long long time before she had to get rides to meetings and depend on others, years before I would visit her at her apartment in Jacksonville and our visits became shorter.

But even then she did not give up, would not give up.

It seems like I remember Susan wore a shirt at various times with words that read "Don't Quit Before The Miracle."

Yesterday I found out Susan passed away at the age of 81 after a long battle of a series of health problems in Jacksonville, FL while staying at the Hadlow Center for Caring at Community Hospice Sept. 16.

Her obituary reads that she was a descendant of the Native American Chickasaw tribe and she was born in Fort Worth, the latter of which I never knew.

In the early 1960s she became a Fernandina Beach resident working with Tommy Askins and at the Ice House on 8th Street. In the 1980s she moved to Jacksonville where she remained until her passing.

He obituary goes on to say that she had dedicated over 35 years of her life to Alcoholics Anonymous, serving on the President's Council and leading many retreats throughout the state.

"Her changed life was an inspiration to others which was an encouragement to those in need and was an exhibit of their potentially new positive life," the article says. "She has brought light to so many and given strength to the weak. The wisdom in her words that could help turn a person's life around has been heard by countless people in need. She will be missed not only by her surviving family members but also by her extended family that has been such a vital part of her life for so many years."

Susan was preceded in death by her two sons William and Timothy and leaves behind her children, Ann Teague of Jacksonville, two sons John Pocher of Raleigh, NC, Joseph Pocher of Columbia, SC, eight grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren.

If you knew Susan, you may share her life story at oxleyheard.com.