In Retrospect

As I sit here and reflect
On the farce that I so ignorantly believed,
I shudder to think
That I was so easily sucked in,
Taking each lie as truth.

In total denial
Of your twisted double life,
Refusing to see
The bold red writing
Smeared across each wall.

Now, with the wisdom of hindsight,
I can plainly see my mistakes.
The glaring inconsistencies,
The blatant lies,
How my love for you blinded me to your illness.

Coming to terms with you,
With myself,
With all that was and all that was not,
Has taken so much time and effort.
But I take courage from what I know to be true.

With each glorious new day,
I gain more empowerment,
More grace,
More strength.
Finally, all is forgiven.

But forgotten?
No. Never.
The lesson means everything,
For it has made me wiser.
I am forever altered.

Your demise may continue to haunt me
Your voice may sometimes drift into my dreams
Your life may continue to baffle me.
Nevertheless, I'm at the point where I can say,
I am at peace with it all.