In Search of Happiness

How many times have you heard the expression,"The grass is always greener?" Tons of times, right? Let's face it, folks. Happiness is elusive and when things in your life don't seem up to par, everyone else's life always seems to be better.

I believe happiness is a never-ending quest, but it's also a choice. Sometimes that choice feels like a lot of work, because often times it is simply easier to wade in the pit of despair. According to Joshua Wolf Shenk's article "What Makes Us Happy?" in the June issue of The Atlantic Monthly, "...positive emotions make us more vulnerable than negative ones. One reason is that they're future-oriented...While negative emotions tend to be insulating, positive emotions expose us to the common elements of rejection and heartbreak." Still, this is no excuse to wallow in self pity because you're afraid to get your heart broken. What sort of life will you be living, if you choose to stay negative and play it safe?

On any given day, you can make the choice to be happy or not, and if you say yes to happiness, the littlest, simplest things can give you pleasure and lift your spirits. For example: recently I was dealing with some challenging life issues. Each day felt like a chore. However, just the other morning while I was creating my mountainous "to-do" list and feeling increasingly overwhelmed, I was brewing my requisite pot of coffee. I had recently splurged, and bought some of my favorite Sumatra blend from my local un-Starbucks coffee house. The paradox was obvious. As the list grew and the anxiety mounted, I felt a strange and welcomed calm as I inhaled the comforting aroma of the brewing coffee. I poured myself a cup, took that first fantastic sip, and voila! I was happy! Yes, it was fleeting. The second sip was just as delicious as the first, but already the novelty had worn off. The "to-do" list beckoned. But in that moment...that one brief but ecstatic moment, I was not my list; I was not my anxieties; I was me, enjoying a perfect cup of Sumatra, and feeling good.

This is what I've come to believe makes up our individual moments of happiness. Significant or insignificant instances in our lives, which, if we pay enough attention to them, we can string them together and they can act as a bridge to help us move from one challenging aspect of our lives to the next. I think it may be impossible to be in a constant state of happiness. There needs to be balance. The human condition is made up of a palate of emotions and we aren't able to feel one without feeling the others.

It's normal to look at someone else's life and think it's perfect. It may be normal, but it's not realistic. No one has a perfect life. And yes, money and love and all those incredible material things that we covet on a daily basis, would make life more pleasant perhaps, but they wouldn't necessarily make us happier. I have looked at other people's lives and wished I could have what they have. And when I have allowed myself to admit my feelings to these people, most of the time they told me they wished they could have my life. Isn't that ridiculous? If we're walking around constantly wanting someone else's life, it's no wonder none of us are happy. We have to learn to be happy with what we have, not what we don't have. Such basic and simple advice. But it's true.

Your life is yours! Own it as you ride with the tide and go with the flow. And if the grass looks a little greener across the street at your neighbor's house, perhaps you should start thinking about watering your own lawn to make your grass look just as green.