In Search of the Sock Monster

Let's face it, we've all been there. Standing around the dryer and pulling the socks out of it and suddenly noticing that one sock isn't a pair.

Suddenly you find yourself swearing you put the other sock in the wash with it and you will probably end up spending a good hour looking for that other sock and more then likely you will never see it again. It is an annoyance to suddenly find your socks piling up on top of the dryer because, hopefully, someday you might be able to reunite the lonely socks with their mate. But this brings up the age old childhood question: Is there really a Sock Monster?

Little is known about the appearance of the Sock Monster because no one has had a chance to catch a glimpse of him yet. Some say he is a hideous 7 foot tall monster, some say he crawls around on the floor with all the missing socks attached to him. But maybe our closest idea of what he looks like comes from The Urban Dictionary which defines the Sock Monster as being:

Found in (or around) washing machines and tumble dryers. Thought to be a genetically modified, highly evolved organism. Although never actually sighted evidence points to its habits and breeding cycle. A voracious predator the Sock Monster preys on single socks always leaving behind one of the pair it has captured. Mystery surrounds this behavior although zoologists surmise this may be an instinctual mechanism for long term survival. Able to cross great distances at speed and unseen there is almost no known method of defense against the dreaded Sock Monster.

But it also leaves the question: Where do missing socks go? Pairs go in the wash, but only one gets back to your dresser. It seems no matter how hard you try to search for the missing socks you just can't come up with an answer for where it went to. I have this problem right now with 7 different socks. Hello Mr. Sock Monster, I would like my socks back again!

And it's never the socks you could care less about loosing, it always has to be the socks you love and took the time to break in and make your own.

When you tell children about the Sock Monster they tend to have the same reaction I had when I was a kid, "No way!" But even then I still had the same thoughts that I do now on the subject, so let's look at the facts. People say that he lives in the dryer. I would only agree with that if your dryer was in the basement. Because as everyone knows creepy monsters live in the basement. And the attic. But I don't think a Sock Monster would live in the attic. That's just absurd. The commute from the attic to the basement or laundry room would be risky and leave him open to being caught. Someone would have caught him by now and it hasn't been me, though I would like to meet him one day for my socks back. The Sock Monster has to live in the deepest recesses of the dryer, only to emerge to hunt and gather socks to eat.

Personally I think he travels into your house when he's hungry. That's when the dryer is on. The smell of it has to be making him hungry.

He only seems to make an appearance when you are doing your laundry. But he can be a sneaky monster and rob you blind in the blink of an eye and you find yourself wondering what to do next. Wait it out and hopefully, someday, the other sock might make a reappearance or go out and buy new socks. And what about that age old saying that if you go out and spend the money on something, like socks to replace the missing one you won't come home and suddenly find the missing sock which defeats the purpose of spending the money in the first place. It's a never ending cycle of headaches the Sock Monster creates.

But in all reality I am sure there is a simple explanation for the missing socks we have all encountered, but for now the Sock Monster seems the best candidate for interrogation. Maybe one day he will consider settling down and getting a real job.