In a Survivor's Eyes, Protection from the Predator Within

Being a survivor myself, I will not guarantee that my experience and opinion will be the advice for all. Some may think that my information I gave my child to be too much. Some may think I was too strict on instilling my views. Some might be blind and not want to touch the subject at all. However, I will say that my child, my son, my creation will not be a victim as me. Especially since I have the first hand experience that predators do not always come from the streets.

I instilled into my son's head at an early age about right and wrong. I gave him all the information he could handle for his maturity level. I explained that some people done bad things, and this didn't always mean they were a bad person. I also did inform him of the predator, that he had hurt his mommy, and that I never wanted him to hurt him. I was very clear not to give too much information that would scare my son. However, I made sure he would be aware at all times of his surroundings. Now my son had an advantage. I do have to give some credit to his military upbringing in helping his awareness. I never wanted my son to go through what I did as a child. Therefore, in helping with his education of what was "his" areas that no one could touch (and I mean no one), I made games I like to call "for instance" games. I rewarded him for making the right decisions. This also was great for character and independence building. I made it fun to be aware.

Being this person was a family member, I assured my son that I would always be there. That I would take care of him. I told him to never be alone with this person. I taught him that if the situation were to arise how to get out of it without showing fear or causing panic to others. I have always let my son know that I will keep him from harm, but sometimes I cannot always be there.

A key issue that I used in his prevention from being victimized was that "if it felt wrong, it was" and "if you are told not to tell, then tell immediately." His father and I both had a very strict honesty policy. No lies were allowed in our house. It was better to take responsibility than to lie type household. We had family discussions as a family, making a no secrets atmosphere. We had family time on a daily basis. This helped my son in feeling safe and secure with talking to and with us. Now of course not all matters should be discussed during this time. However, discussing daily activities is usually how my son would come out and say, "Guess what happened to me today?"

As a military family, we always had a emergency plan. As you teach your child not to take candy from a stranger or talk to anyone they meet, we had always made an emergency "what if" plan. This actually is an issue I was faced with lately in discussing with a friend. Your child is never to young to have a plan. Our son had a trusted neighbor if something happened. As he aged and knew it was not for a game purpose, we taught him tell anyone, knock on every door, and MOST importantly SCREAM! YELL! KICK! HIT! As my son continued to age, as with any situation in a home or surrounding, I taught him again the awareness of the situation. Find weapons you can use to get away. Be aware of things you can use to get free. I analyze everything and every situation. My son is now aware, at 13, where weapons (not guns or of sort) are hidden within every room of the house. Now he has been around guns, being I lived with a Police Officer for a short while. He was taught proper time and use for weapons of this type. By this time, I was also military, and he knew how to shoot as well.

Now forbid anything happens to my child or yours. If it does happen though, take a deep breath! We have to lead by example in lives of our children. Panic will only create frenzy in them. Get them to the nearest hospital! Prepare to Fight! Fight! Fight! Make sure your child has a reputable counselor. Your child will need support and love. They will be scared and sensing fear from you will only shut them down. Children never want to see their families in pain or chaos. Reassure them that it is not their fault! Repeatedly! Continue to fight for your child's right! They were invaded, and that is not a dismissive matter! Let your child decide who knows. Lastly, if you need it, get a counselor yourself and family counseling. This will effect your child for the rest of their life.

Today, all I can hope is that I opened an eye to some mother or father out there of some creative ways to protect their child.