In a World Dominated by Pupkins, Elliot Spitzer Call Girl Makes Millions Off Music

I have said it many times before: Everything you ever want to know about life can be summed up in a Martin Scorsese movie. In this case, dig out the videotapes from the closet and rewind the 1983 cult hit King of Comedy. Then come back and read the rest.

In today's world where Pupkins are rewarded with millions upon millions of dollars, innate talent, sacrifice and hard work are spit upon. It used to be that musicians and artist were jealous of those that had "connections" - maybe if you knew someone and didn't really have a lot of talent, you could still slide through the tape with a deal brokered by a good agent and laugh all the way to the bank. Or you could kidnap the host of the Late Show for ransom until getting a three-minute slot. But even who you know or who is held hostage doesn't matter anymore. It is only those who make the headlines that will get to the top of the dung heap and come out with all the goods. Just ask Wikipedia who will keep the profiles of people who have had "substantial media coverage" and delete those profiles of people who have made an actual contribution to humankind.

Here are some jobs that aspiring musicians have done on the side while pursuing a million dollar music career. They aren't as glamorous as prostitution or being a high-priced call girl but they might help keep a roof over the head:

Astrophysicist - just ask the guitar player of Queen, Brian May, who recently earned his PhD in astrophysics.

Attorney - we have dealt with many attorneys who moonlight as musicians. I personally find that rock musicians make better defense attorneys while jazz musicians make good beaurocratic attorneys.

CPAs - if you can pound out a variety of ¼ notes on an instrument, you can pound out numbers on a general ledger. Pythagoras would be proud! After all isn't music soothing to the ears based on the numbers of the notes on the scale?

Financial Broker - lots of musicians peddle stocks and bonds. There's so much time spent chasing people over the telephone that picking up the guitar in between getting yelled at is a good way to work out the finger muscles.

Private Detective - what better way to pass the time bird-dogging in a car than to bust out the guitar? It makes a great cover that even Sherlock Holmes would be proud of.