Inconceivable: My Struggle with Infertility

My husband and i were married on April 9, 2005. On the morning of Christmas Eve that same year, I took a pregnancy test and the result was positive. My husband was at work. It was unexpected, but definitely a welcomed surprise. I had always wanted a big family. Considering I was 29 years old, it seemed as though the window for a lot of kids was closing. I wanted at least four, and my husband said he would be happy with three. So, I made a picture frame that said "Dad" and wrapped it to give to my husband in the morning. It was my first (known) pregnancy, and I didn't really know anything about being pregnant. I just knew that we were going to be a happy family. My husband opened the gift and was shocked, but ecstatic. I had also purchased pacifiers to wrap as gifts for our moms and grandma, which we gave them that day, too. Everyone was totally thrilled.

Unfortunately, things changed on January 12, 2006. I started cramping, and I ended up having a miscarriage. I have no idea how far along I was. I went to the doctor for a blood test and she confirmed that I had indeed miscarried. We were crushed, and so were our families. We decided to try again in a couple of months.

At the end of March, I found out I was pregnant again-- only to miscarry a second time, right before our first anniversary. We hadn't told anyone yet, so we grieved alone. I went back to the OB-GYN to find out what was going on. Unfortunately, she didn't have any answers. She suggested that I take Clomid to try to get pregnant again. So, I started out on 50mg of Clomid in May. In June, I was pregnant... Only to miscarry a third time a couple of weeks after finding out. She started me on another cycle of Clomid, which resulted in a fourth miscarriage. Finally, she referred us to a reproductive endocrinoloigist (RE).

My RE did a bunch of bloodwork, and I was diagnosed with Luteal Phase Defect Disorder (LPDD)-- a condition where my body didn't make enough progesterone to hold onto the embryo. So, we went the route of inseminations (IUI). The first three didn't work. The fourth, done in December, took. We were so excited! My husband had to give me progesterone shots. We went in for an ultrasound only to find out that there was no heartbeat. Yet another miscarriage that resulted in a D&C. That meant that I had five miscarriages in one year. It was devastating.

After two more failed IUI attempts, the doctors finally decided to test my husband. It turned out that he has Trans-location Genetic Defet Disorder (TGDD) -- a condition where the top of one chromosome switches with the bottom of another. This meant that some of his sperm had too much of one chromosome and not enough of another. Unfortunately, the missing chromosome was a major one, which mean that the embryo would just abort itself before becoming a fetus.

Since my husband had some genetic issues, we decided to go through in vetro fertilization (IVF) with pre-natal genetic detection (PGD). Going through IVF was a nightmare-- the daily needles, the medications, the hormonal mood swings... It was AWFUL. The dotors were able to retrieve and fertilize twelve eggs. We had to wait longer than normal - just an extra two days - before finding out that any of the eggs were viable. Two of the twelve were viable. They were implanted on August 11, 2007. We donated the other eggs to scientific research, since we knew that they would never be able to develop.

On March 14, 2008, my twins were born. I was only 33 weeks and three days, so they twins had to spend thirteen long days in the NICU at Stony Brook University Hospital. (To this day, I cannot say enough wonderful things about the NICU staff.) The IVF nightmare my husband and I went through was totally worth it. I have a daughter and a son, both happy and healthy, who will turn four in 2012.

A word of advice to couples struggling with infertility: Both of you should be tested at the beginning. I went through a year of torment and torture with the injections, IUIs, tests, blood draws, miscarriages... If we had known that my husband had a problem, too, we would have bypasses all of the IUI procedures and gone right to IVF. We won't have anymore children. We are blessed enough to have a daughter and a son. We just aren't strong enough to go through IVF again.